The day everyone who works a regular 9-5 job relishes, waits for and dreams about…


Where are my fireworks??  hmmmm…maybe it’s because this weekend is going to be all Christmas cheer and “fun” and I am still enjoying wallowing in my own self-pity? 

Tonight will be okay.  I am going to N’s house for a girly night of movies, gossip and griping!  It’s actually one of my favourite ways to spend a Friday night.  But tomorrow…my mother and her boyfriend G will be coming down for our annual Christmas gift exchange.  It’s not that I don’t like seeing my mother, because despite everything, I do,  I love her.  I have tried hard to not love her, to hate her, but she gave me life and a pretty great start in life and she was smart enough to know that leaving me in my fathers care when they divorced would be the best chance I would have at having a “normal” life. 

It’s the fact since me and my ex broke up in October I have not seen either of them so I know all the questions will be thrown at me and I don’t honestly think I am ready to answer them.  My therapist says to be straight with anyone who asks and just tell them I don’t want to talk about it.

Isn’t that easier said then done though?  I have talked about our breakup, with my friends, my therapist and periodically with my father.  But I seriously don’t believe Christmas is the right time to discuss such things.  I am doing everything in the little power I have left to make this Christmas a great one for all my friends and family.  I went overboard with gift giving but I loved every minute of it!  If that one thing gives me pleasure, I will be damned if anyone can take it away from me!

Anyways, I am rambling and have gone off topic.  MY WEEKEND – a visit with N for a girly night tonight, visiting with my mom and G for Christmas and my first weigh in at WW since starting the new points plus program (I must say I LOVE that fruits are 0 points!) I have been eating a lot of fruit this week! 

Wish me luck, and I will be back to post Monday about how “great” my weekend before Christmas was!

XOXO Nikilee

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