|There is no love without forgiveness and no forgiveness without love ~Bryant H. McGill
This is my issue right now – how do you forgive someone who has done so wrong by you that your heart actually feels like is breaking in two? I don’t know if it’s possible? But what if I want it to be possible? What if someone truly felt sorry for their mistakes and did what they could to right them? Could forgiveness be possible then? I think, maybe, it can.
My ex has made a lot of mistakes (as have I, trust me, I am not the great, loving person everyone has me pinned out to be), but his mistakes have cut deep to the core and affected every part of my life – inc. work, which in my sheltered little world where work is all I got, is a big no-no! So if he righted his wrongs and proved just how deeply sorry he was, could I fully forgive him?
My brain says “of course, he was your best-friend“, my heart however is still a little fragile. It has major walls built up. I think if we took things slowly and just started talking and supporting each other again then maybe it would be possible.
I love him, shame on me I guess cause I know lots of people who think I am moronic for even thinking about him and they don’t know the whole truth. In reality, I don’t know the whole truth, but maybe with some forgiveness I can learn it and accept it and move on, with or without him – though I know I am still hoping it is with him.
I have been able to forgive my mother, for the mean girls in school, my brother every time he screws up (that one is a lot tougher then most) so why not forgive a man who has had one bad year, when we had 11 great years? I guess only time will tell.
The dilemmas at 30 seem eerily similar to that of being 20…until next time…