Fire and Ice

The one good thing that came out of being dumped by the ex was that my relationship with my girlfriends increased ten fold!

One of those relationships I have re-developed was with a sweetheart A – she’s going to be called the NYU girl cause she went there and I was super jealous that she was there since New York is my favourite place on earth! 

Last night me and NYU girl went out for a dinner at Fire and Ice in Markham.  I have never been there before and it had been a while since she had and let me tell you – it was YUM YUM YUMMY!  It’s a cool vibe and what you do is choose your protein then you go and pick your noodles, veggies and sauce and give it to a guy who takes it all and cooks it up while you munch on salad and bread – BREAD!  YUMMM

We got there around 5:30 and since we were there before 6:00 we got the early bird special which was two proteins – chicken and shrimp for us!  The food was cooked really well and the sauce really intensified the flavour.  It was a great meal and I look forward to going back there one day.

The conversation with NYU girl was great as always, she is such an amazing person, has such an interesting life and we have made plans to go in a hot air balloon this summer which will cross off one thing from BOTH our bucket lists!  I cannot wait!

I met her over 10 years ago when we were both “pages” at the Cedarbrae Library.  We got along instantly and have kept in touch throughout the years randomly while we both went to school, had relationships that went up and down (she’s married to a great guy now) and got jobs completely out of our fields.  She’s one of those people I don’t need to talk to everyday or even every month, but once we get together, it’s like I saw her yesterday.  I love catching up with her and making plans to have more time together in the near future.

Our next date will be a Saturday at her place where we will go swimming and then she is going to introduce me to random teas (she LOVES tea of all flavours). 

I look forward to more time with her and hearing all about her adventures as a crazy fun, married, working girl!

XOXO Nikilee

It fits

La dee dee la dee da life goes on right…that’s what the song says anyway.  Today I got to focus on some good!  My friend Kim’s upcoming wedding in the Dominican Republic!!!  I am fortunate enough to be  a bridesmaid and the dresses are beautiful.  As her largest bridesmaid, I was worried about what the dress would look like on me, but I had my first fitting today and it was beautiful.  I am having it shortened of course because I am a shrimp but thats all the alterations that need done!  I cannot wait to show you pics from the wedding.

S0 with all the gramma drama I was unable to let you know about dream guy.  On the Saturday before she passed I went to my buddies wedding and I realized while I was there that even though dream guy was a great guy, he wasn’t going to be the one to make me fall in love again.  The next day, I woke up and instantly knew the day.  November 6th – my would be 6  year anniversary with the ex *had we still been together*.  I broke up with dream guy that night.  I am not ready to love someone else at this point because a part of me still loves the ex – as annoying as that may be to everyone.

There is still a lot to do regarding my grandmothers estate – so pretty much every night is taken up with taking my dad to banks, lawyers etc.  We also have the daunting task of emptying my grandmothers home – ya that will pretty much kill me.  Should be fun!

Talk to all as soon as I can

XOXO Nikilee


I’ll love you my whole existence

Martha Mary Humphrey was born in Toronto on May 29th 1925.  She went by “May”.  She met my grandfather, Albert Kenneth Milway in the early 40’s and they were married in June 1943.  Theres was a love that was never-ending.  My father was born in February 1944 – please don’t do the math, we are well aware that it’s only 8 months from June to February. 😉  It all worked out because my grandmother and grandfather were happily married until his death on July 17th 1986.  My grandmother loved 6 other people as much as she loved my grandfather – my father, my brother, myself and her three great-grandchildren.

I never in my entire life doubted her love for me or her family.  About 4 years ago, my grandmother suffered from dementia and we made the difficult decision to move her into a nursing home as she was on oxygen full-time.  As much as we could visit we did, but it never seemed enough, it wasn’t enough.  On Monday November 7th 2011 my grandmother passed away.  A part of me died that day.  I knew it was coming, I knew it was what she had wanted for 25 years since my grandfather’s death. The death of someone you love – someone who gave her whole life and love to you – is never something you can be prepared for or okay with.  Instead of talking about her death, I am going to share memories I have of her.

After my grandfather passed, I spent many weekends at her home.  We would go shopping at Thoncliffe mall.  We took the bus and would shop all morning until breaking for a cup of tea and a sprinkled donut from Country Style.  My grandmother would take me to Coles bookstore and I would sit on the floor and read the backs of books for over an hour before choosing which ones my Nana, as we all called her, would buy me.

My grandmother knew I was a picky eater, but she rarely ate out so she would cook me breakfast sausages, canned corn and cut up cucumber for dinner.  Now I am WELL aware how disgusting this all sounds.  Add some pineapple juice and a butterscotch pudding for dessert and it was, looking back, pretty gross.  But I loved it and I loved her.  I had so many wonderful days and evenings with her.  While she was “cooking” my dinner, I would watch her favourite soap opera The Young and the Restless and let her know what was happening since she couldn’t see it because her kitchen stove was not in viewing of the livingroom tv.

Another thing I loved was spending Fridays at my grandmothers.  She would always go to the hairdresser and when I was with her, I would get my hair done too.  Louie was our hairdresser.  He was Italian, and he loved my Nana and me.  he would always tell me funny things to say to her in Italian, most of which I never knew what I was saying.  We always had fun and he would always do whatever I wanted – cut, curl, straight…it was a blast, I was sad when he retired and we stopped going.

There was times when I just loved talking to her – even when I had nothing to say, but knowing she was on the other line was comforting.  It got to where I would read her books over the phone. I can only imagine how boring this was to her.  I loved to read though, and she always listened.  She would talk to me about these books so I know she was listening.  Who does that??!!

That’s who she was though, a saint really – at least in my eyes.  She loved children and she loved her family.  I like to think I have some of her best parts in me, that she will never really be gone because her memories will live on in me, and my father and my brother and her niece, my Aunt Sharron.  Together we will be a family and keep her spirit alive.

We buried my grandmother on November 10th – a day that would have been my grandfathers 90th birthday.  We gave her back to her husband, a man who adored her.  The best birthday gift we could have given either of them.  They were made for each other – born to be together.

Love you Nana, always and forever

XOXO Nikilee – granddaughter

Happy 100 blogs

So this blog is number 100.  It’s crazy to think that just under a year ago, I started this blog sad, insecure and unsure of everything and everyone.  However now, I am happier, stronger and more sure of myself then I have ever been.  Thank you Lord.


Today I wanna talk about weddings. I was always that little girl who dreamed of my wedding, the big dress, the church, the fancy party afterwards, horses and princess tiaras…having now been to a handful of weddings I am not so sure.  People spend a lot of money on weddings, and while they are fun and beautiful and I am so happy for all my friends and family who get married and have amazing weddings, it seems like a lot of effort for one day.  I kinda wanna fly to Vegas and elope.  Not that I am thinking of marrying anytime soon, but really…I don’t feel the same way about marriage that I did a couple of years ago.

I am sure part of my thinking is to do with the dashed dreams I experienced with the ex, but really I am just a very different person now.  No high expectations, high hopes.  But this doesn’t mean that I still don’t want marriage, I just want marriage only, wedding optional.  Last night I went to my buddy T’s wedding and it was great, he looked good, his bride was beautiful and everyone had fun.  But the whole day went by so freaking quickly.  I cannot imagine spending that much moolah on a day that goes by quicker then a snap of the fingers.  Sigh, we will see…I still have quite some time before I get married.

Today, the day after the wedding, I am lying in bed, watching tv and eating ice cream – well Sorbet – and it’s fantastic.  I really enjoy doing nothing sometimes because so often I always have to be doing something.  I am watching Knocked Up – where the hot entertainment director gets pregnant from the ugly stoner loser and … in the end she has the baby and all works out in the end.  It’s such a funny movie, even after seeing it for the fifth or sixth time. This week is going to be a busy week, between the Interview event with PAYE, my normal work stuff, Sign Language 2 class, dinner with dream guy and trying to fit in NK time, I am wondering when things will slow down or get more exciting…hmmm we’ll see…lol.

Have a great week

XOXO Nikilee

I’m sorry

I know it has been soooo long since I blogged – I thought once I got the laptop I could blog all day everyday, but my life didn’t get any less busy with the laptop – not at all actually!!!  So since yesterday I was thinking of bucket lists, I decided to write one. 

See the 30 Things I Want to do Before I Die:

30 Things to do before I die


1. Have a child, biological or adopted

2. Run a 5K

3. Buy a home and decorate/renovate to my liking

4. Go up on a hot air balloon

5. Drive from Toronto to California in a convertible

6. Spend New Years on a beach with someone I love

7. Sleep under the stars

8. Write an autobiography for my children

9.  Be a member of a studio audience for a late show

10. Visit every Major League baseball stadium *buy 1 hat from every stadium*

11. Attend one major sporting event (world series, Stanley cup)

12. Visit a real “blues” bar in Chicago

13. Master a second language (sign)

14. Skydive

15. Buy a pair of Jimmy Choo’s and a Louis Vuitton

16. Sleep at the zoo

17. Watch a sunrise/sunset

18. Write a journal for my children about their lives

19. Take a one day vow of silence – alone

20. Learn one dance style well (salsa, hip hop, African)

21. Go to a costume party and dress up as something really cool

22. Travel Europe for 3 weeks

23. Travel to Africa on a safari – visit Watoto Children in Uganda

24. Eat at the CN Tower

25. Gamble in Vegas

26. Bungee Jump in a foreign country

27. Go apple picking and make jam and pie with the apples

28. Carve pumpkins, decorate house for Halloween and hand out candy

29. Visit Disney World and Disney Land and blog about the comparisons

30. Jet ski

31. Spend a week at Whistler in BC and learn to ski/snowboard

32. Take a 2 week cruise visiting numerous Caribbean islands island hopping


Okay so I get it there are 32 things here, but I kept thinking of things…All of these things are beyond possible in my lifetime and I can’t wait to check things off!

XOXO Nikilee