Boo mofo hoo

That is how I feel today. 

In April 2009 I had surgery for a Pilonidal Sinus removal.  That was the beginning of the end for me.  Please don’t ask me what that is…if you want to know (trust me you don’t) then google it. 

I say it was the beginning of the end because I never healed properly – even though I had home care for 4 months – some great home care workers, some not so great home care workers.  I ended up having the SAME surgery in March 2010.  I had home care for 5 months before the idiots at VOM said my time is up – funny since I hadn’t healed…bitches.  Sorry I don’t like to swear on my blog, but really VOM is full of idiotic bitches!!!

Well guess what – my wound, still has not healed!  ALMOST THREE YEARS LATER!  Where is my angry face emoticon – I have no idea!!!  Grrrr I will growl instead. 

I saw my surgeon yesterday – who in reality is fantastic and nice and sympathetic and is confused by my unhealable body – no I am not diabetic – and he did something that I think was to clean out any infection and this is how the exchange went down:

me: what are you doing        him: I am cleaning the area         me: will it hurt      him: no, well it shouldn’t, well it might just burn a bit (as he slathers on the medication)  me: gritting teeth and tears forming    him: does it hurt?                  me: uh huh (in a high-pitched voice) him: okay

Okay??  Are you fucking kidding me!!  OW!  I am human, you are burning my skin…yes it hurts, yes I want to jump off this table and ram that thing up your butt! 

Maybe not, I’m a hypochondriac – he is nice and I know most people have a pain threshold that I do not have.  But ever since this exchange, I have not been comfortable sitting down without wincing!  It hurts.  I am so emotional and feeling depressed because this has been such a long go.  He said if not better after my Dominican trip then he may refer me to a plastic surgeon to see if they can help – think they will do a tummy tuck and boob lift as well?? 

I was so upset I went home early from work and lied in bed all day and night.  The ex came over last night after listening to me whimper on the phone for an hour.  He brought a tea and let me lie down beside him so I could get comfy.  It was a kind gesture.  Waking up this morning, feeling about 20% better I highly considered calling in sick but I threw on what looked clean and headed out through the rain and fog to get to work safely. 

Hope you are having a better week then me!!!

XOXO Nikilee

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