A month changes a lot

A month ago today I was well into my second day in the Dominican Republic.  I was warm, content and looking forward to spending the week with my sister, one my favourite ladies, her entire family and soaking up some sun!

Unfortunately our first day in the DR it rained and was overcast.  You would think this would depress most people…but not me.  I was not at home, not at work and not taking care of anyone but me!  That night we went to the Coco Club – a place that would soon feel like a second home to me on my trip.  That was the beginning of the trip for me – and the beginning to a pretty amazing month.  Who knew dancing could be so much fun.  I mean I am not a dancer – at all – and usually am very self-conscious when dancing – especially when you have the bride – to – be in all her hotness dancing next to you, but I had a great time with a great friend and things really have never been the same since.  I can’t even hear LMFAO without smiling and cracking a giggle.  There is something so freeing about dancing with friends and family and just smiling honestly that really makes one enjoy themselves.

Walking along the beach after the club was another thing I normally would never do – though granted in TO if I walked along the beach at the end of January people would probably call the police thinking I must be intoxicated or have sever suicidal thoughts.  However in the Dominican it is quite normal – in fact there was a couple making love on the beach when we got there so of course the bride-to-be ridiculed them with ease!  They stopped eventually and left – we are suck party poopers!!!  LOL…I have never made love on the beach – maybe one day, but I think if I was going to, I would not do it just 20 feet from where the lights from the wedding stand shone brightly.  I mean really – I get the voyeurism, but that’s a bit much!  LOL…

The peace I gained in the DR from a very special friend and the confidence and loyalty I gained from that trip followed me home!  A lot has changed in my life mostly good, some not so good.  It’s been an emotional month, a lot of crying, a lot of laughter a lot of happiness and a lot of anxiety – however I would not change a single second of any of it, because it brought me home a completely new person.  Having amazing people in my life is not a new concept, I have at least a dozen – but having one particular new person in my life – has altered everything, made everything a little brighter, my stomach light needs his stomach light!  I can’t wait to tell you more!!

Have an amazing leap day my fellow bloggers and readers

XOXO Nikilee

And I call myself a city girl

Everyone knows I love living in Toronto.  I love everything about the city – the people, the noise, the attractions…I don’t know if I could ever live far from a major city – TO being the best!!

However, this weekend proved, that while I may be a city girl, I am not a city transportation girl.  I drive.  I drive fast and I drive with passion!  I love my car (Minnie the Mazda 3) and I do not enjoy TTC (Toronto Transit Commission).  On Saturday I finally booked an appointment with my friends wife to get my hair cut, coloured and styled because it was LONG overdue.  She works at King and Yonge (77 King St E to be exact).  June and her husband are like family to me.  He is like my big brother and she is just the sweetest woman I’ve met in a long time.  Their 3-year-old daughter is an angel – my darling, my sweetheart.  Any who, back to Saturday.  So I knew I was going to subway it down to the salon because driving and parking can be a bitch on a weekend. 

I drove to Kennedy Station since its free parking on weekends and that allowed me the pleasure of NOT taking a bus.  The subway ride there was crowded, but I managed to get there with no problems – even a few minutes early.  I was so proud of myself for getting there on my own because I haven’t taken the subway anywhere alone since I worked at Air Canada Centre in 2009. 

The problem came when I left to go meet a friend back in Scarborough.  I decided I’d take the Streetcar to Broadview station because then I wouldn’t have to transfer subways to get back to Kennedy.  BIG MISTAKE!  An older gentleman got on my streetcar one stop after me.  He was coughing.  Hacking and yakking all over the place.  He was eating peanuts and these peanuts were spraying all over the front of him and the seat in front of him.  People were getting up and moving to the back.  I didn’t want to be rude so I texted said friend above and tried to hide my face so I wouldn’t catch any of this hackers germs.  Now I know some people, especially older people, have health issues and I feel bad that he seemed to be in such ill-health, but really – a streetcar with the windows all closed and these germs floating around, made me physically ill.  I couldn’t get off fast enough when we pulled into the station and I walked as fast as I could to the subway platform and all the way to the very end!

The subway ride seemed pretty good, until we were almost at Kennedy.  Let me explain something.  I don’t consider myself claustrophobic per say, but lock me in a subway underground in a dark tunnel and I have a small problem.  I get fidgety, my legs shake and normally if I am with someone, I can focus on them and be all good.  But I was alone with only strangers around me.  My knees were shaking so bad I thought the car would start to rock.  Thankfully it was only about five minutes and we started moving again.  My friend was in the roundabout waiting for me so I was SOOOO happy to have a hug from someone who always can make me smile!

Now, let’s back track to my hair.  I have always believed hair is hair – it will grow out, grow back and grow long in time.  I saw June at PandH salon at 77 King St E.  I had no idea what I wanted except colour and cut (trim).  She gave me beautiful, natural looking streaksand colour  and because I told her I am growing my hair long again, she just cut a bunch of layers into it.  Blow dried it, straightened it – there is nothing better than seeing all the steam from the hot iron – and made me look and feel like a million bucks!  Now if you do go there, please ask for June as your stylist cause she is awesome and I love her!!


P & H Logo Logo

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, take care and remember to smile, it may be Monday, but we are all in for good things this week, I truly believe that!

XOXO Nikilee

Love and loss

I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately.  With all the guy drama in my life I decided to spend tonight going through the ex files…seeing where I went wrong and hopefully seeing where I may have gone right???

None of my boyfriends were really all the interesting or life changing until I met C.  I met C in ninth grade.  He was skinny and awkward (weren’t we all) and he hung out with a couple of girls I was getting to know pretty well.  C lived in an apartment with his mom and we got along instantly.  His mom was amazing and I loved her instantly.  We spent every day together and most weekends together as well.  He was my first “love” and my first…first first.  We were together on and off for 2 years and I was young, naive and there are a lot of things that happened then that I never would have allowed to happen now, but isn’t that what young love is all about – figuring out who you are and who you wanna be in a relationship?  We still talk to this day off and on through facebook – and even though have moved on in completely different directions, we still respect each other and what we have gone through.

My next relationship wasn’t really a relationship at all.  He was older, I was heart-broken from the C break up and I knew him from middle school.  He doesn’t even get a cute nickname because he was a douche bag.  It was a disaster and he pretty much cheated on me the entire time – though in his mind we weren’t dating because he was dating everyone.  I learned from that relationship – big time.  When I finally had my wake up call I was 17, depressed and broken in so many ways.  I spent nearly the next two years single, just enjoying life, hanging with friends dating randomly and concentrating on what was important to me.

Until I met Filipino boy.  He was a drummer in Chaotic Neutral *a band of guys from my highschool* even though he had graduated the year earlier.  He was so good-looking and so kind and sweet I didn’t fully believe he was real.  We dated almost my entire O.A.C year, he was my prom date and attended my graduation, cheering me on as well as all of school years at Trent.  He was the healthiest relationship I had ever had with any man and I fell in love with not only him, but his family.  They were mine and I was theres.  I still to this day call his parents mom and dad.  His sister is one of my best friends and I was a bridesmaid at her wedding and am a “tita” to her son J.  Now if this relationship was so amazing why didn’t it work do you ask?  Cause I was 19 when started dating and by the time I had turned 23 we were two different people.  I still respect him so much and still love his family, but while we both did great things together, he was in my life for a reason and that reason was to show me that I was worthy.  Worthy of love worthy of happiness and I had faith I would find it!  We are still friendly today – even though I am closer to his family.

After a disappointing 6 month set back with someone who looked like a logger and treated me like I was dirt, I realized that the one person who had been there since the beginning – who had seen me through all my ups and downs – was the one man whom I was in love with more than I ever thought possible.

DBF and I started off awkwardly in the sense that we were friends for so long and all of our friends (well his friends) were apprehensive about us being together.  But it was a dream come true.  We had a few really amazing years.  We travelled, we shared our lives together – the good and the bad – we supported each other and we made it work.  However, a lot changed quickly and even though we had moved in together, we were growing apart.  I’m not going to go into all the bad because I have moved on from that and so has he.  We are friends now – as you have read here – and I am grateful.  That relationship taught me a lot…good and bad…and I don’t regret it because it was an amazing five years and some of the new friendships I have made from that relationship have drastically impacted my life in the best way possible and I am so grateful for that!

What new relationship will be next…there is one that I think could be pretty amazing if the timing and circumstances all fit together, but time will tell.  Time will always tell when it comes to relationships and one thing I have learned – is that patience is a virtue that cannot be ignored.  I am NOT patient, I am jealous, loud, annoying and needy…always have been and probably always will be, but for a very select few people I can be the mature, beautiful woman I also know I am so I hope to be able to brag and chat more soon, but for now…I am feeling great and looking back on my past relationships as positives…

Hope you all have had wonderful people in your life who have changed it for the better and helped you grow…have a great night all!

XOXO Nikilee

I love my sushi boyfriend

So yesterday my sushi boyfriend came over – not for sushi but to fix my mildew infested front hall closet.  There is nothing better than a guy who can tear down a wall, add new drywall, paste over it and then clean up after himself!  LOL…Sushi boyfriend is so helpful and I am so excited for him to re-do my whole basement into an apartment – mainly because I am desperate to get my own space!  He will do it up right so I can enjoy myself and be comfortable when I am home!!

The good thing is that he is going to come by my work Friday at lunch and we are going to do Sushi for lunch!  He knows me so well and since I get along with his gf, we are very comfortable hanging out together with or without her.  It’s great to have a friend of the opposite sex that I can just be friends with and get advice from and also advise as well.  LOL…yes we both have drama filled lives!  Mine more so this time around then him…but it’s okay my drama is worth it and he understands that!

So, my closet is almost done, I can hide all my coats and shoes again after this weekend and then a particular someone won’t have to hide their disdain for the amout of  “stuff” I have.  The maid will have a heart attack when she sees my living room covered in coats and shoes today!  YIKES!   Sorry Danuta!!

On a sadder note, I got word today that a former co-worker, passed away.  I only worked with him for a few months before I was advanced in my division and moved out to a different office, but I remember him as a kind-hearted soul who never had a horrible thing to say about anything.  He was wonderful and he had a stroke that took his life.  It’s sad to know that his family and friends will no longer have his contagious smile to admire.  Carroll Gajaraj will be deeply missed by all who knew and loved him.  God bless you!

XOXO Nikilee

A long weekend is just what the Doctor ordered

Okay so my doctor didn’t actually say I need a long weekend, but I know in my heart, if I told her every detail of my life, I am sure she would recommend it! 

There is so much that I am quite ready to talk about yet on my blog, things that I need to keep private to protect someone else…but lets just say I had a pretty damn near perfect weekend. 

The one thing I can talk about is my dinner on Saturday night at the Keg restaurant in Scarborough.  Now, those who read this blog know that Makimono is by far my FAVOURITE restaurant, but the Keg does come in very close.  There is just something about the atmosphere, the servers and the food that always makes me feel wined and dined.  I went there with my father, brother and sister-in-law.  This was to celebrate my dad’s birthday from last week because T got sick and we couldn’t go.  Taking my dad out to dinner is always a treat since he doesn’t go out – ever really – anywhere.  But he does love a good Keg dinner and this was no exception!

We all start off with appetizers, because we know if we are having Keg, we go ALL out!  My brother, T and I had always have baked garlic shrimp – so yummy.  The bread was a bit hard, but the garlic sauce made it soften right up!  Garlic, cheese and shrimp so freaking good!  My dad got escargot.  No one else would be caught dead with escargot, but my dad loves it and has it every time we go!  Of course we all got alcohol too except T who isn’t much of a drinker.  Me and my brother got Caesars and dad had a southern comfort with 7-up. 

For our main dishes, we all differ somewhat.  My brother got a peppercorn steak with a shrimp and scallop medley on top.  He got the loaded baked potato and slices of tomato for flavour.  T got the terriyaki steak with garlic mashed potatoes and dad got the prime rib with loaded baked potatoes with a side order of mushrooms.  My meal, which is my favourite meal there is the surf and turf prime rib with lobster tail and garlic mashed potatoes.  I LOVE LOBSTER! 

Such a great meal!

Everything was cooked to perfection and I am pretty sure I ate mine in about 30 seconds flat.  In fact I ate so quickly I had time to run out and say hi to a friend I had been looking forward to seeing who always puts a smile on my face who was there to have dinner with family as well.
This was an amazing night out with my family, we don’t get to do it often (I mean really none of our diets or wallets can afford the Keg on the regular, but once in a while is a great time).
Daddy and me

Overall, I would not have given up this long weekend for anything, spending time with family and friends is always a good time, and sharing a wonderful meal with wonderful people make it all the more exciting and I can’t wait for the next long weekend which is…EASTER!  WTF!  This will not do.  I need to book a day off in March.  I cannot wait over a month for another long weekend…

XOXO Nikilee 

Shopping, spiders and another late night

Work has been crazy – I mean so busy I need to cut myself in multiple pieces just to help one person, let alone the multiple people lined up waiting for assistance, busy!  After work I decided since I had to go to Wal-Mart anyway that I would walk around the mall for a bit and engage in some retail therapy – why do I do this to myself??

Scarborough Town Centre is not the greatest mall in the world, but I am comfortable in it since I am a regular visitor.  I started off at Stepss – yep the “buy one get three free” shoe store that I went to a month or so ago.  Well now it is buy one get two free – not as good, but I see shoes and free in the same sentence and my heart pitter patters and I go all in.  I needed retail therapy.  Walking around a tiny store trying on ten different pairs of shoes may sound like torture to some people (mostly men), but I was in my glory!  I got three pairs! 🙂

Then I decided since it wasn’t quite time to leave the mall yet that I would head over to Ricki’s – another mistake…my favourite clothing store because all of their clothes make me look good!  I bought a little black dress and a necklace.  Listen, a little black dress is a staple in all women’s wardrobes and I actually don’t have one.  It’s business appropriate so I can wear it to work AND out for a nice dinner or date.  I justified it and paid cash – story done!

My evening after that was pretty amazing.  Until I got home.  I forgot to tell my dad I wouldn’t be home for dinner and walking in at 8 pm did not allow me to be greeted with my usually happy go-lucky father.  He barely spoke to me.  Damn it.  I am going home tonight and making him his favourite meal.  I am an asshole 😦

Just before bedtime (10 pm) I was in the washroom brushing my teeth etc talking to GBF on the phone when I saw a huge spider on my bathroom door!  I begged him to leave work and come get me out of the bathroom, but alas, he said no.  I was panicking.  Why is no one around to save me!  I couldn’t ask my dad, he was annoyed at me.  GBF wouldn’t leave work so I had to figure a way to unlock the door and get out into the safety of my own room.  After about 6 minutes, I calmed down enough to throw the door open and run.  I know this seems really insane and like I am making it up – and I wish I was, but that is exactly what happened. 

My ugly freaky spider

After that I had two really intense phone conversations, one on the phone and one over text.  I was awake till one in the morning, which means this morning, I am not a cheery person, but the good citizens of North York will just have to deal with me.  I hope they can.  It’s been a long 24 hours. 

Have a great day people – it’s Thursday!
XOXO Nikilee

A day is just a day…really it is.

So yesterday (Valentines Day) was a normal, yet happy day for me.  Work was good, no major troubles, lots of texting, which I know is so wrong, but I CAN NOT HELP IT.  I just can’t stop yet so I hope none of my co-workers hate me for it!?

After work I had therapy, which was intense and made me do a lot of thinking.  I need to start taking control of my life and my future, but really, I am in limbo right now and I plan on going nowhere soon so I will just have to deal with my rollercoaster of emotions until a move is made!  My Valentines date was with one of my absolute favourite people in the world – crazy cat lady!  LOL…she will kill me is she reads this and finds out I call her that…shhh don’t tell.  I spent part of my evening with her and her dad just relaxing, teasing each other (if we were American he would be VERY republican and I would be VERY democratic so I try not to debate him…it could get ugly).  Watching crazy cat lady with her dad reminds me of the relationship I have with my dad.  He raised her, mine raised me.  Though in reality – we took/take care of them! 

After leaving her house, I headed to the finale of my Valentines date night with my dad.  We watched part of Biggest Loser, but I knew I had one more thing I had to do.  I called my mom.  My mom is going through a really rough time right now.  Her boyfriend has throat cancer and so far – it does not look good.  I am debating about going up to Bobcaygeon to help out for a couple of days.  Even just to be there to keep them company.  Now my relationship with both of them has been strained, never a solid, great relationship by any means, but I do love my mother and I don’t like people I care about hurting.  I also tend to not be the most compassionate person with her, as I am more concerned that when he does pass away that she is taken care of…that things are in order.  She assures me they are.  I hope so.  We had a really nice talk though.  Probably the longest one we have had in months, if not years. 

After showering and talking to GBF (totally teased him for not buying me flowers this year – I mean last year he did…remember my blog on it!!  We were in a crap place last year, I hated so much of him and he bought me flowers!  This year we are friends, we are in a much better place, and I get nothing!  LOL…next year if I am single I will pick a fight with him to ensure I get something!)  I passed out cold…only to be woken up by a crazy nightmare where I was in some foreign country and working in a brothel – not as the woman who sleeps with people, but as security (ya who the hell am I supposed to secure???)…and people were getting killed and raped and I have no idea what brought on such foolishness, but it kept me awake wishing I could call…nah I won’t say…but I did wanna call someone and calm myself down.  Why do my dreams have to be so freaking real???  Ridiculous! 

All in all, today should hopefully be a wonderful day.  See if my plans stick, see if work goes well – see what client’s bring me today…have a wonderful hump day everyone

XOXO Nikilee