So those of you who actually follow my blog, know I have been on Weight Watchers since November 2010 when I decided that it was time to get healthy – time to get me back. I went on to lose 25 pounds because weight watchers DOES work!. I still had another 25 that I wanted to lose, but I stopped trying. Whose fault was that – mine really. I stopped when I started dating the Ugandan in May 2011. I had lost such a great amount of weight – weight I never imagined me losing that I figured I could take some time to enjoy my summer, eat what I wanted and not worry about what happened – I’d get myself back in gear in the fall! Ya, that never happened. Now I have slowly crept back up the scale. I am up a few pounds. Maybe 5-10, I haven’t been to weight watchers in weeks and it’s because I know the weight has come back…the idea of seeing my failure actually makes me want to crawl in a hole and cover myself with dirt.
Now, I am fortunate, I have a great guy who makes me feel like the sexiest girl in the world, however, personally I know I am not. I know from the way my clothes are fitting, from the way I avoid certain pants that the weight is creeping up. I keep thinking I should go to the gym – stop with the excuses of stress and exhaustion and get my butt back in gear. However I also know that with my upcoming surgery and the discomfort I currently feel, that I will allow these excuses to swallow me and keep me far away from the gym. When I drive by Parkway Mall where my gym is located, I divert my eyes left so I don’t have to see the looming sign waiting to attack me! I quickly push the key tag for the gym away from the rest of my keys. I have debated about getting an iPod for weeks now since I lost my last one (or maybe someone stole it, or maybe its hidden in my room of treasures!) but I know if I get an iPod I have even less excuses to not work out because currently I say I need music, I am bored running/walking on the treadmill without music!
So whats a girl to do…
Well, I am trying to eat better, I have fruit everyday or almost everyday. I buy food to cook, but I never do…it goes to waste which I hate because I hate wasted food. Yet that hate, the guilt doesn’t encourage me to come home and cook. I worry if I don’t start soon – getting my butt into gear, that I will become what I was almost two years ago – a shell of myself. Someone who no one liked very much. Someone whom newbie probably wouldn’t find very appealing. I think it’s time to get back to weight watchers. I need to weigh in – see my damage – face my consequences. Being overweight is a health issue. Both emotionally and physically. I know the gym is not reasonable for me – probably won’t be for another couple of months because of my upcoming surgery – but a walk, 15-20 minutes every day is not going to kill me and is not going to hurt me at all. I am going to weigh in tomorrow at weight watchers. I need a butt kick! I am going to cook dinner tonight…I am not going to make excuses and I am going to get back to being me. A me that my family, friends and newbie love. I look forward to recording this obnoxious journey with you all! 🙂