I didn’t think I was a quitter

As of today my 20 week pass ends with Weight Watchers and unlike the last two years where I have just renewed and kept plugging along, today I am not renewing.  I guess I have till Saturday really to decide my ww fate, but I just don’t see the point in it right now. 

I have gained about 10 pounds back since losing the initial 25.  So I am down about 15.  However my confidence level has wavered, I have made bad decisions both personally and professionally and I can’t seem to get myself out of this funk I’ve been in.  Now please don’t get me wrong, this is not a depression – been there DONE that – but I just can’t seem to stay away from foods that I know don’t do anything nutritionally for me.  I have become quite addicted to a Tim Horton breakfast of a muffin or a bagel – all comfort food for me – and dinners (while i don’t go out as often cause I don’t usually see Newbie during the week anymore) are a mess from either take out or an english muffin with peanut butter.  These are not the meals of successful people.

Now I know what most people will say – buy good food and eat good food.  I do.  I buy veggies for my salad every week and every week I throw it all out because I haven’t touched it and it’s gone rotten.  The only thing I do manage to munch on is the fruit cause I actually enjoy fruit.  But all the fruit in the world doesn’t make up for my disastrous eating habits and a SERIOUS lack of physical activity. 

I have never known ANYONE as lazy as I am.  It’s actually sad.  I keep saying I will get on the ball, I will walk three days a week, but that never ends up happening.  I have home care three – four days a week and that takes so long to prepare for that I just use that as my excuse.  Plus – I am still uncomfortable most of the time from my wound so sweating and stuff is very unappealing to me right now.

Now…here is the good news!  I know that when I am ready – I will do this.  Whether is be with ww or on my own (I would never do another program – to restricting) I can and will do what I put my mind too.  However right now, today, my mind is to pre-occupied with other stuff swimming around.  I don’t have the motivation to do it. 

Stay tuned as this quitter tries to turn things around and figure out the next chapter in the life of Nikilee.

XOXO Nikilee

One thought on “I didn’t think I was a quitter

  1. Nikki you are strong willed and can do it on your own with the right motivation. Is diabetes in the family and wanting to have children (which requires a healthy body) motivation enough?

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