As of today my 20 week pass ends with Weight Watchers and unlike the last two years where I have just renewed and kept plugging along, today I am not renewing. I guess I have till Saturday really to decide my ww fate, but I just don’t see the point in it right now.
I have gained about 10 pounds back since losing the initial 25. So I am down about 15. However my confidence level has wavered, I have made bad decisions both personally and professionally and I can’t seem to get myself out of this funk I’ve been in. Now please don’t get me wrong, this is not a depression – been there DONE that – but I just can’t seem to stay away from foods that I know don’t do anything nutritionally for me. I have become quite addicted to a Tim Horton breakfast of a muffin or a bagel – all comfort food for me – and dinners (while i don’t go out as often cause I don’t usually see Newbie during the week anymore) are a mess from either take out or an english muffin with peanut butter. These are not the meals of successful people.
Now I know what most people will say – buy good food and eat good food. I do. I buy veggies for my salad every week and every week I throw it all out because I haven’t touched it and it’s gone rotten. The only thing I do manage to munch on is the fruit cause I actually enjoy fruit. But all the fruit in the world doesn’t make up for my disastrous eating habits and a SERIOUS lack of physical activity.
I have never known ANYONE as lazy as I am. It’s actually sad. I keep saying I will get on the ball, I will walk three days a week, but that never ends up happening. I have home care three – four days a week and that takes so long to prepare for that I just use that as my excuse. Plus – I am still uncomfortable most of the time from my wound so sweating and stuff is very unappealing to me right now.
Now…here is the good news! I know that when I am ready – I will do this. Whether is be with ww or on my own (I would never do another program – to restricting) I can and will do what I put my mind too. However right now, today, my mind is to pre-occupied with other stuff swimming around. I don’t have the motivation to do it.
Stay tuned as this quitter tries to turn things around and figure out the next chapter in the life of Nikilee.