Office Gossip

Today we had a team meeting.  These are always long, always filled with information that isn’t necessary and always loud.  By loud I mean out of 10 women and one male supervisor, we usually have 10 women and one male supervisor all talking at once.  It makes no sense and starts to grind a migraine into my already sensitive head.

Today we learned there is an issue in the office (not necessarily team) around gossiping.  Now please understand my office is made up 85% women.  It may even be higher.  I think if they want the gossiping to stop, hire more men.  Then it wouldn’t be so bad.  We would have more talk about sports, and bbq and beers (don’t I stereotype well?)?  But you have a lot, A LOT of highly confidant, cocky women all working in one office and gossip is bound to start – on a daily basis.  I find myself the “butt” of gossip quite often.  I don’t know why.  Maybe because of my outgoing personality, maybe because I talk to everyone, maybe because I am very friendly with most of the men in the office – just platonic people!!!  But ya, office gossip is coming under fire.

Don’t most offices have gossip?  I think if someone is hurt by that gossip then by all means, the gossipers should be taken down and snippered, but if people are gossiping about other random things, and no one gets hurt, please don’t take away our rights to socialize!  I know we are at work, but at times – especially in our field where it can get really intense some days, being able to socially gossip with our friends in mandatory.

I know there is a very, VERY fine line between gossiping and bullying – and it can be crossed unintentionally, it has happened to me.  No one meant to hurt my feelings, but alas they were.  However I am also an adult and I confronted those people and they apologized.  They weren’t using their normal common sense.  Instead of bringing this up at team meetings and making everyone question every thing they have ever said to a co-worker, why not ask people to be responsible for their own happiness.  We are adults, we are all extremely educated, employed individuals who have a sense of right and wrong.  If we were children, this would be an issue, but we are not supposed to be so I don’t feel like we should be treated as such.

I admit to gossiping, I try to do it with people I am close to, in private areas and I never mean to hurt or offend.  I usually say nothing that I wouldn’t say to someones face and never about their personal life because it doesn’t affect me and it is NONE of my business.  Usually if I am talking about someone it has to do with how they are professionally because that affects me and usually I have talked to the person, but I want to vent to my closest friend at the office.

You can’t stop gossiping.  It’s been around, I am sure, since the beginning of time.  I am sure some of Jesus’s disciples gossiped about what they were really doing and if it was worth it.  I am sure the emperors gossiped about the women they slept with and pretty much every single person in Hollywood gossips, so please don’t tell me I am not allowed!

Rant over…

This is true isn’t it?  If no one spoke a word in meetings other than the boss, our meetings would be 15 minutes instead of 1-2 hours in length.  If no one was allowed to speak at work except for clarification and to our clients, we also wouldn’t be allowed to gossip.  So I suggest implementing mandatory silence at the office!  My migraines would weaken and no ones feelings would get hurt.  No one would have to defend themselves, no one would have to stand up to the few bullies who may exist.   Yes silence…it’s a great idea!

XOXO Nikilee

Rainbow Bright!

Last night I spent some time with one of my favourite ladies and BFF Crazy Cat Lady.  What I love is that we are similar in the sense that all we want to do on a Monday night is eat, relax, watch some TV (Dexter season 4 currently – John Lithgow you crazy bastard) and shop.  Yep SHOP.  We shop online too much, I know, it’s addicting and a bad habit that at some point I am sure we will break (hahaha – ya right), but we do it so well we can’t help it.

Last night was especially good.  CCL has this affinity for finding rare and random things online for a really good price.  Lately I have been looking for one of my favourite childhood movies Rainbow Bright and the Star Stealer.  I have found it on Amazon for $70!  I want it on DVD so it’s especially hard to find because it wasn’t that popular I don’t think AND it came out in 1985 (for perspective – Newbie wasn’t even born yet!). 

Well leave it to CCL – she went searching and after some disappointing results – she found it – for under $10!!  Are you freaking kidding me!  I have searched for months for this movie, she spent maybe 20 minutes and it was ordered.  I love you CCL.  You are my hero!

Last night was the stupidest nights of my existence.  At least sleeping wise.  I woke up at 3:45.  I tossed and turned for over an hour!  But where normally I am thinking doom and gloom thoughts, last night I was thinking of the picnic with my mentee today, visiting my mom in Bobcaygeon, going to see Russell Peters in concert this weekend.  I could not turn my mind off – I was so annoyed!  Of course when the alarm went off at 6:00 am I cussed (as per usual) and slapped my snooze button until 6:45 which is the absolute latest I can possibly wake up before I feel like I’ll be late. 

Also want to wish the LA Kings congrats after taking over the NJ Devils.  I think it’s great that a state that worships pretty much all sports over hockey came out on top – and Toronto, a city that worships hockey over all other sports can’t get into the playoffs.  What a disappointment.  I’m still cheering for the Jays!  Go Jays Go!  Hockey is over for another year thank God and now everyone can focus on Baseball!  WOOHOO

XOXO Nikilee

The Hunger Games, my bsmt, my mentee and more

It’s Monday!!!  Why am I excited?  I mean Mondays mean the start of a new work week – not seeing Newbie for 5 whole days, and waking up so early the birds feel my pain when I cuss at my radio (sorry Roz and Mocha I love you really I do).   However, Monday’s all year have meant seeing my mentee.  I am part of the one-on-one Mentoring program with the City of Toronto.  Once a week I give up my lunch break to visit my mentee at her school, have lunch with her and play games and do crafts.  She is in fourth grade and just the sweetest little kid.  She’s also Filipino and whenever she talks about her family it reminds me of Filipino boys family and I feel a great sense of comfort there.  Anyway today is our last day together until September.  We have our last lunch, and prepare for tomorrows end-of-year picnic @ Thompson Park.  So ya, Monday, today is great! 🙂

This weekend my bsmt got a huge overhaul by Sushi bf and D.  All the walls are pretty much gone and all the wood and panelling have been taken to the dump. 

See all that wood – gone!

I really do think that I will have my bsmt by the end of July and THAT makes me ecstatic!  I cannot wait to begin decorating and preparing the rooms to my individual touch (with D and Crazy Cat Lady’s help of course).  My colours for the majority of the bsmt are white, smokey grey and depending on the room it will be accented by other colours (purple in the bedroom, blue in the bathroom).  

I had a lot of alone time this weekend due to Newbies baseball and working all day Saturday (then napping Saturday night *shaking my head*) so I finished The Hunger Games.  Now I started this book back in the DR, but I got distracted so I stopped reading it.  Which is odd for me because I love to read while I am on vacation.  However, it didn’t work out cause I was having SO much fun with everyone that was there.  Fast-forward 4 months and on Friday I decided to pick it up and read it – I started over again cause I barely remembered anything.  I finished it just over 24 hours later.  I could not put it down, and with extra time on my hands I didn’t have to.  I love reading really good books over the course of a day or two.  It excites me when I get so excited about books!  I had Newbie take me to Chapters on Sunday after our usual Markham Station breakfast so I could buy the whole set and start reading book two  (I started this morning while sitz bathing at 6:30 in the morning…what else was there to do).

 Today, I also go to my surgeon and scream “I am NOT healing!  Heal me dammit!!!*  Okay maybe not quite, but I am SO annoyed, this is my fourth summer of being wounded and unable to heal, therefore not really enjoying my summer to the full extent.  I have a man I want to enjoy every minute of my day with and I cannot because of a stupid wound that won’t heal.  THIS SUCKS.  Okay, whining over…time to suck it up buttercup and go on…I am sure (as GBF says) that my Dr will have great news for me and I will be happy once again.  uh huh… Well have a great week all you bloggers et al.

 XOXO Nikilee

Last night was loud – really loud

Before leaving from work for the day my sis-in-law mentioned she was bringing my family over for dinner.  That includes my brother and their three children (aged 15, 13 and 12 years of age).  I was excited because I know my dad has been dying to see my brother for over two months and of course as soon as I got home and told him they were coming you would have thought I said John Wayne was coming for dinner and not his son.  Good grief! 

As soon as they walked in the door, the noise began.  Three teenagers (well almost for little K) who are all so totally different from each other argue and annoy each other a lot.  And then of course Sushi boyfriend and D came over to work on the basement so they were tearing down walls, which you know – get’s loud.  Then my home care came and she is quiet but I had to deal with that and I never feel good after she leaves so this is how I felt by about 6:30 last night

I wanted to curl up in my bed, block out all the noise and ignore everyone, but of course I haven’t seen my family all together in over 2 months as well so I stayed in the living while trying somewhat unsuccessfully to not scream at my nephew for being an obnoxious teenager and again – rolling my eyes at my attention craving youngest K.  You know I always find it funny that since young K is by far the most well-behaved out of the three and the most active and involved in things out of the three that she wouldn’t need any more attention – but she craves and demands it even more than I do, which is saying A LOT!  I mean I started my own blog to get attention for crying out loud – doesn’t hold a candle to her!  LOL…I may complain, but they (all of them) are the air that I breath, they are my reason for existing. 

So as the yelling and arguing was going on, I snuck downstairs to see what was going on, and walls were all of a sudden missing in my basement!  Sushi bf and D done a great job of ripping walls down – I love to see progress, it makes me think my closet (errr I mean basement apartment) may soon be a reality!  I am SO excited!  More pics to come tomorrow!

Finally after home care left, Sushi bf and D had finished for the night and the family had sufficiently ate and stayed their welcome, the house was quiet again.  Dad and I looked at each other, both sighed and enjoyed a minute of peace and quiet before I had to rush off to fill up his medication, and prepare myself for today.  While I do actually LOVE seeing my family, I also LOVE that it’s just me and dad at the house and it’s quiet 90% of the time.  I enjoy it.  So does he.  We have a good rhythm going on.

XOXO Nikilee

A Basement Apartment for me!

I am so fortunate to have great friends.  Two of those great friends are sushi boyfriend and his girlfriend D.  Why am I lucky to have these two people in my life?  Because not only did they come visit me when I had my surgery and brought flowers, but they helped clean out my gramma’s house AND they are building me a basement apartment in my dads house this summer so I can have my own space while still ensuring my dad is taken care of. 

I am so excited about this basement apartment.  I hadn’t planned on living at home forever, I mean when I moved back in with my dad after GBF and I broke up it was for a few months, to get my head on straight and save some money so I could move back out with a friend or alone – either way.  However after my dads heart attack, I knew I was where I needed to be and I knew I would stay.  After my nana’s passing I knew there would be some money coming and while I had NO idea how much that money would be at the time, I knew I wanted one thing from my dad – a place of my own. 

Currently I am using every spare closet in the house for my coats, clothes, shoes and purses.  I never know where anything is and I swear half the stuff I own gets no use because it’s in a box or back of a closet that I have yet to explore.  Our basement had severe water damage a few years ago and since then has been an unfinished basement used only for laundry and storage.  My brother and his family used to live down there – so I requested to my dad it be re-finished into a home for me.  All I needed was a bedroom, bathroom and closet – a walk in!  The kitchen could stay upstairs because if and when I cook, I do so for me and dad so I didn’t need my own.  It wasn’t a requirement.  A mini fridge for drinks would suffice.

Sushi bf and D came by last week to empty the full VAN load of garbage that was already in the bsmt including a couch, tent, mini fridge and freezer that were moldy and a huge box tv.  Tonight they come to do more!  I am so excited.  I have been assured by Sushi bf that it will be done by the end of July!

  Because I love before and after pics, I figured I would take some. 

Here is the current hallway looking into the old living room which will now be my bedroom

This is Matt, cleaning up the hallways – notice all the wood panelling!

This is the livingroom which will be my bedroom – love the fireplace! I can’t wait to warm up to it!

Notice the floors – ewwwww

This is more of the new bedroom – the floors are so gross right now and the walls are that popcorn material which I hate!

The next picture is the bathroom, currently a creamy yellow colour – yuck.  Only white crisp lines for me! 

And then there is my favourite room in the house!  My soon-to-be walk-in closet!  This used to be an office (or my nephews bedroom depending on what time period we are talking about). and it will be the perfect size to display my clothes, my SHOES, my jewelry and my bags.  I cannot wait for this room!

Can’t you just see rows of shoes and racks of clothes hanging here!!!

Well, give it two months and it should all be done!  Thank you daddy!  I have the best father a girl could ask for and the best friends anyone could have!  I will show the after pics once it’s all done.  The closet will be done first cause I am SO tired of living out of boxes!  Of course there will be a small spot for Newbie to keep some stuff too since he is over every weekend. 😉 XOXO Nikilee 

A little bit of a “What If” scenario

I hate “what if’s”, life is full of consequences – good and bad – and I just don’t like to think of the way things COULD have been.  I’m not a coulda, woulda, shoulda kind of girl.  But sometimes, when it’s late at night and I am feeling especially sorry for myself for one reason or another, I think “what if”.

Last night I was in some discomfort from my wound and feeling a bit depressed over the idea of it not healing *ya thanks Home Care nurse, I could have told you that* and I made the mistake of letting my mind wander.  I thought back to where one of the biggest changes came in my life and almost immediately I knew.

In my last year of University, I knew I hadn’t gotten into teachers college – my grades had slipped and I didn’t have nearly enough volunteer experience to make me worthy of a Ontario College so I began to think of possibilities.  I knew Buffalo and Australia were possibilities, but I honestly had NO desire to spend $20,000 to go to school since Trent had cost $25,000.  Now I had never been anywhere in my life – ever.  I may have been to Buffalo once or twice, and Ottawa on a school trip, but really when you are born in raised in Toronto – none of these places bring on excitement.  I knew what I wanted to do.  I wanted to go overseas to Korea or Japan and teach for a year and see where that brought me.  I had started dreaming of this, even possibly bringing Filipino boy with me since he didn’t have a career that he was invested in at the time, but also in reality I think I knew we weren’t going to last, that we had started to grow apart.  One of my old roommates had discussed this possibility as well and I knew me and him could go together and we would have a blast supporting each other. 

But the dream that had been mainly private up to that point came crashing down, when in November 2003 I got a phone call from my sister-in-law.  My dad had been admitted to the hospital, it didn’t look good.  I had to get home immediately.  I got Filipino boy to pick me up and I came home to a disaster.  My father had full fledge Diabetes, kidney failure, heart failure – you name it he had it.  He was minutes away from death when he was admitted.  He went on dialysis (four times a day at home thank you), insulin and an array of medication that would keep him alive.  I had never been so scared in my entire life up to that point.  All my plans immediately fell through the window.  I knew that since I was graduating University that coming April, that I would move home and take care of my father.  The way he took care of me when my mother left in 1994 and I was a 13 year-old girl lost and confused in the new world of being a teenager. 

My dad came home before Christmas and was re-admitted after Christmas for further heart problems.  He was released sometime in January after I had already gone back to school.  I never mentioned my dreams of travelling the world, of experiencing Asia to many people because they would try to tell me to go – to “do me” – that my dad would be okay. 

I thank God every day that he was and still is, okay, that he lived through that devastating time – and again last August when another Heart Attack brought him back to the Hospital for another 5 weeks.  But I just know I never would have forgiven myself had I gone to Asia and something had happened to him.  If he had died while I was away travelling and having a grand old-time.  I would have regretted it every single day. 

I have had other options of travelling to teach (Nevada when I got my teaching degree from Medaille College in 2007) but it was never the right time.  I missed my opportunity.  Please do not get me wrong.  This is not a regret.  I just wonder what if I had gone to Korea or Japan to teach, how would my life have been different?

For starters, Filipino Boy and I would have broken up three months sooner than we did.  I would never have dated douche bag who spent seven months emotionally tearing me apart while my self-esteem swam in the toilet and I would not have kept my job with the City of Toronto.  It’s that last one that makes me okay with my final decision.  Starting as a summer student with the COT allowed me to work my way up, by networking and making great connections with people.  I now (8 years after graduating) have a job I love.  It’s not a teaching job, but it’s a job where I get to help people change their lives by finding last employment in careers they love.  It’s an important role – one I wish was more recognized, but it IS important so I consider myself a success. 

Depending on how long I stayed overseas, a lot of other could have and would have changed in my life.  Me and GBF might never have dated and probably would never have gotten to be as close of friends as we were before dating, I never would have met the ladies from baseball who are some of my closest friends today which means I never would have met Newbie.  I also never would have become as close to Crazy Cat Lady and that (and meeting Newbie whom has changed my life forever) is not acceptable. 

So while I would have had worldly experience, fulfilled my love of travel and spent time learning a new culture and teaching!!!!!! I would have lost out on so much more.  I’ll take the good with the bad.  I’ll accept that I am where I am supposed to be.  That happy or not happy, God has a plan for me, and that plan was not to teach overseas.  I accept that.  However, now maybe you can see why I was awake half the night thinking of all the opportunities I missed out on and what opportunities I would have missed out on had I gone.

XOXO Nikilee

Ribs, Pork, Coleslaw and Lemonade – it must be close to summer!

Every year, all across Ontario (and the states too I believe) the Rotary club puts on Rib festivals!  Now I have only ever been to the Scarborough Ribfest and the fest at the CNE in August.  However this year Newbie wanted to go to the Pickering Ribfest – and I am NOT one to turn down ribs…ever…I mean it, I love them!

The great thing about going with friends *his brother and sister-in-law came too* is that you can get a few different things and share them.  Newbie and I got a full rack and a pound of pulled pork.  J and K got the same, but with chicken, beans and coleslaw.  I love coleslaw so I stole a few forkfuls of theirs!  Now, I was not the biggest fan of the sauce from the vendor we went to.  I cannot remember the name, but when I do I will amend the blog in case you were so curious you just had to know!  It was a bit spicy and the meat wasn’t really fall off the bone good so I give them a C+.  They get the + because their pulled pork was divine!  I loved it and ate almost all of it – thinking I’ve now gained a whole pound!  Isn’t that how it works??  LOL…

After we had devoured the food and cleaned ourselves up (cause it ain’t good if you ain’t dirty at the end of it), we walked along for some Lemonade and beer.  And that’s when we saw it – Tiny Tom Donuts!  AHHHHH thank you Lord for creating the man who created TTD.  He should get a straight pass to heaven.  Both Newbie and I discovered we both love the apple-cinnamon versions of these little donuts so thats what we got.

The sky seemed to be darkening as we walked around, talked and enjoyed the evening so we headed back to J and K’s house where we watched hockey and baseball and K and I teased J and Newbie off and on throughout the night. 

Overall I would say a perfect way to spend a Saturday night.  Especially because Sunday would bring Markham Station breakfast and celebrating Newbie’s moms birthday…I love my weekends!

XOXO Nikilee

***The rib place we went to was The Silver Bullet***