Good Question

On the radio this morning (CHUM FM 104.5) it was asked: Would you rather watch a long video of all the great moments of your life thus far or a short video of pivotal moments from your future?

It got me thinking as I made the trek into work…and to be honest I don’t know. 

If I go with the long video I will see the day I started school – maybe even before that – my birth!  That would be cool!!!  I would see playing Barbies with my neighbour bff and gymnastics class, jazz class, swim class (well maybe not I hated swimming), I would see going shopping with my Nana at Thorncliffe mall, and Christmas as a child.  I would see the day I got my hamster Lucky, entering Grade 7 and meeting new friends – friends I still miss and adore to this day.  I would see Grade 8 graduation and entering high school where I really came into my own.  My first real boyfriend and then my first real love.  Prom.  Graduation.  First day of University where I felt so small and insignificant, yet smart and special!  Dating GBF, teachers college, my first trip to the Caribbean and all the trips I’ve taken there since. Meeting MiMo and our spring together and of course the birth of each of my neices and nephew. 

Yes looking at my past – good moments only would be great.  But some of those good moments would remind me that bad moments followed too.  Divorce, harassment, bullying, fighting, fear, break-ups, anorexia, failure, death.  Would it really be worth it?? 

Maybe looking at the future would be best.  Maybe I am married, maybe I have a child or children, maybe I travel to many more places and experience many more cultures, maybe I succeed at work and am promoted?  I might even find a job I love more than this one??  Moving somewhere else, outside of TO with friends or a lover?  There could be some really great key moments I’d love a glimpse of.

But with the future comes sadness too.  More death of loved ones for sure, maybe I don’t have children, maybe no one loves me, maybe I lose my job, maybe my family or my friendships fall apart.  I don’t think I want to see any of that even if it means I can make changes.  Life is what you make of it – and I want to work hard to make it a great one.

So if I had a choice to watch the long or short video – I choose neither.  I want to keep living day by day.  I have enough memories in my head that I don’t need to relive it on tv and I am hopeful enough for the future that seeing it would spoil all the surprises good and bad!

XOXO Nikilee

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