I turned (32) yesterday shhhh

Is it crazy that I love my thirties but dread each birthday??  I think I may be losing it a bit.  I mean my twenties were filled with school and bad jobs and obnoxious people I had to be nice to.  My thirties are filled with work I love, school only when I feel like it and great people whom I love and cherish – plus my blog which I also love!

However every time a birthday comes around, a sense of panic fills me – I am getting older.  I have passed all the fun milestones – sweet sixteen, 18 (I could vote), 19 (I could legally drink), 21 (I could legally drink in the U.S.A) and 30.  I feel like the next true milestone is 50 and that is years away (THANK GOD).  I love being in my thirties – this will be the decade I will have a child or children – the most important thing to me.  I will probably buy a home, develop my friendships even further and travel to numerous countries, building more memories than I can fit into my big head!  I love it.  I look forward to it, but on January 9th, I had a panick attack that left me crying in my bed at 11:00 at night. 

I’m a freak right?  Maybe freak isn’t a nice word…but that is how I felt.  When I woke up yesterday, I felt no different then I had being 31, I wasn’t excited or sad, happy or mad.  I was just me – and I continued my day like any other day – more excited about going to Cuba and meeting Irish guy later this month, and going to Vegas in April with my mom and aunt and hopefully receiving a transfer to an office closer to home.  The birthdate had nothing to do with any of it.  This year will be amazing because I will make it amazing – not because my age changed.

Last night my dad took me, my brother, sister-in-law, sushi bf and his girlfriend D to the Keg for dinner – I LOVE THE KEG.  Just had to put that out there.  I came home and crashed, belly full and ready to work my last day before my CUBA vacation.  I’m taking a blogging break people – but I will return with stories, not as juicy as the gossip from my trip to DR, but still great stories non the less!

XOXO Nikilee

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