A little more personal…

Hi eyes were a blue that hypnotized me when I first saw them again on social media, piercing blue, penetrating eyes that felt as if they were staring into my soul.  My heart beat a little faster that day – remembering how I felt so many years ago when we were teenagers – history seeming to repeat itself.  

Social Media is a funny thing.  With Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and even Instagram taking over the way we see people  everyone has a chance to reconnect like never before.  Soul Mates are brought together, families are re-uniting, it is changing the way we, as a society, interact. 

When I first saw him on Instagram, I realized this man, whom I had first met in high school had changed.  I could tell from his photos he was a creative artist bringing to life inanimate objects and telling a story without uttering a single word.  But would this man even remember me?  It had been over a decade since we had last spoken and even then we were never close.  Our social circles barely interacted with each other and other than a brief stint as his best friends girlfriend; I really didn’t talk to him much.  However I knew him, I knew instantly he was the boy from my teenage dreams.  That one guy that you never actually got to date, but wanted to…that you wished you had the guts to talk to…that was this man for me.  

To my complete shock and surprise, he remembered me.  Not only that but he connected with me on Social Media and would “like” my pictures, comments etc.  It was juvenile; I had no hopes of actually meeting up with him.  Our worlds were completely different as they should be since we had graduated high school 13 years ago.  But one day I got the Facebook message that yes indeed he wanted to meet with me. 

With one simple statement I was in high school all over again, judging myself, criticizing everything from my weight gain, to my job, to my hobbies and interests.  I didn’t go to my high school reunion because it was back when GBF and I had broken up and I was a hot mess – a complete disaster of a person, depressed and anxiety ridden who had no desire to meet up with people who knew me as the cute, bubbly girl from secondary school.  But now, in 2013, I am confidant and love myself and my friends and my family and my job so while there are numerous things I am not exactly proud of, I wanted to show this man who I was, what I had become and I wanted to see him.  If for nothing else, then at least to spend time alone with him – time I never got so many years ago. 

Toronto has some of the most beautiful, inspiring beaches in the country.  I wasn’t surprised when my artist wanted to meet there.  I was happily delighted that he wanted my assistance with a video he would be creating.  I am not really a creative person, but when I get the opportunity to use my artistic side, I’ll always jump at the chance. 

When he arrived, dressed in white and looking even sexier than I remembered, I fell into his arms.  He – being the gentleman he is – held me like his life depended on it. The best hug, the most comfortable I had felt in a long time.  Catching up and walking along the most beautiful beach I was hooked.  Those feelings – which had left YEARS ago, came flooding back and I wanted nothing more than to stay on that beach, to listen to his voice and stare into those sky blue eyes. 

We spent the entire evening together, catching up and inspiring each other with our tales of while and woe from the past decade.  This was a man I wanted to get to know. 

We continued chatting through text and online, meeting up a few more times…but as with most high school stories, it’s a tough time and place for us both – will anything become of our story?  Will it continue and flourish?  I don’t know.  Feeling important and cared for is very important to me right now if I am going to pursue anything serious and that’s not what either of us really have time for, so who knows…but damn that man…I feel awake again for the first time in over a year and if just for that, I am grateful to reconnect with the boy who got away.

XOXO Nikilee


A month changes a lot

A month ago today I was well into my second day in the Dominican Republic.  I was warm, content and looking forward to spending the week with my sister, one my favourite ladies, her entire family and soaking up some sun!

Unfortunately our first day in the DR it rained and was overcast.  You would think this would depress most people…but not me.  I was not at home, not at work and not taking care of anyone but me!  That night we went to the Coco Club – a place that would soon feel like a second home to me on my trip.  That was the beginning of the trip for me – and the beginning to a pretty amazing month.  Who knew dancing could be so much fun.  I mean I am not a dancer – at all – and usually am very self-conscious when dancing – especially when you have the bride – to – be in all her hotness dancing next to you, but I had a great time with a great friend and things really have never been the same since.  I can’t even hear LMFAO without smiling and cracking a giggle.  There is something so freeing about dancing with friends and family and just smiling honestly that really makes one enjoy themselves.

Walking along the beach after the club was another thing I normally would never do – though granted in TO if I walked along the beach at the end of January people would probably call the police thinking I must be intoxicated or have sever suicidal thoughts.  However in the Dominican it is quite normal – in fact there was a couple making love on the beach when we got there so of course the bride-to-be ridiculed them with ease!  They stopped eventually and left – we are suck party poopers!!!  LOL…I have never made love on the beach – maybe one day, but I think if I was going to, I would not do it just 20 feet from where the lights from the wedding stand shone brightly.  I mean really – I get the voyeurism, but that’s a bit much!  LOL…

The peace I gained in the DR from a very special friend and the confidence and loyalty I gained from that trip followed me home!  A lot has changed in my life mostly good, some not so good.  It’s been an emotional month, a lot of crying, a lot of laughter a lot of happiness and a lot of anxiety – however I would not change a single second of any of it, because it brought me home a completely new person.  Having amazing people in my life is not a new concept, I have at least a dozen – but having one particular new person in my life – has altered everything, made everything a little brighter, my stomach light needs his stomach light!  I can’t wait to tell you more!!

Have an amazing leap day my fellow bloggers and readers

XOXO Nikilee