Happy New Year

As I sit in my bed thinking about what I can even write that will truly emphasise how I am feeling, I look over at my naked Christmas tree and am grateful I took down all the decorations and organized them into labelled boxes a few days ago.  Having a huge task to complete in early 2013 seems daunting to me now as exhaustion is settinng in.  LOL

I am also enjoying the fact I can see my Christmas tree so clearly!  I got LASIK on Thursday and I am loving my new sight!!  I can drive, read, watch tv all without my glasses!  It is something I have wanted for a while and thanks to my amazing father I could finally afford to have the surgery completed!  I recommend LASIK MD to anyone.  This may be a plug, but seriously they have been great every step of the way.

Seeing my luggage on the floor reminds me that I have a trip coming up and trust me that alone is enough to make me reveal in the 2013 glow everyone seems to be having!!  I am a horrible packer, I should have K pack for me.  I have way to much packed already and I still have 12 days left before I leave.  I can’t wait to play with Chase in the water!!

Some of you may be wondering why the hell is Nikilee alone on New Years, why is she blogging so close to midnight??  It is a choice I made after two plans had fallen through.  I had no desire to make more plans.  I decided instead to chill out and watch my PVR that was full of great shows waiting to be watched.

I was going to go to K’s and celebrate with her and some friends, but unfortunately her husband invited MiMo and the new girl over and the desire to see them together and kiss at midnight actually had me feeling sick and that was not something I wanted for 2013 so I bailed out of that one.

I was going to visit E, but poor Cairo is still so sick so I am leaving her to enjoy her time with her pup so that fell through too.

I had other friends who asked me to come by and hang out, but in the end, my exhaustion from going non-stop the past few days over powered my desire to party like it was 1999.  There will be no rum and red-bull, no noise makers and no hangover tomorrow – wait is that a bad thing??  Ahhhh nope!  Not for me!  Tomorrow I can wake up and enjoy my last day of holidays and complete all the little things I still want to do.

So here I am, blogging, updating Facebook (and deleting people off Facebook – always hurts a bit) and hoping that everyone who reads this has a blissful, safe New Year.  Remember my friends, don’t drink and drive…take a cab or call your mom – anything to stay safe.

XOXO Nikilee

It’s the last Friday of Summer (well not technically)

I mean I am well aware that summer lasts well into September, but for me, I always felt like summer ended the labor Day weekend because then all the kids go back to school, the roads become busy again, the temperature dips lower in the mornings and apple season begins!

So for me, this is the last Friday of Summer.  😦

This summer hasn’t exactly been what I expected – I have had some good days and some not so good days…overall though I give this summer a solid B-.  Here are my top TEN moments of the summer of 2012!

1. I got out of debt!  This is awesome!  I was   so happy to finally have $40,000 worth of student loans, credit cards and car payments paid off. It’s a great feeling and I am doing my best to ensure I don’t end up back where I started. 

2. My basement apartment is complete and I have moved downstairs and I am truly loving every minute (although last night there was a cricket in my hallway and I had to kill it and I was freaked out cause crickets are creepy jumpers)

3. I got to watch my niece play baseball and the Blue Jays play baseball and my friends on the Wolf Pack and Phillies play baseball – I love baseball, professional or not!  So it was a good summer for ball!

4. I got to see my mom for a few days.  Slowly we are getting closer.  We haven’t been close for years, but it was nice spending a few days with her and my aunt.  I hope we can continue to build our relationship over the fall and winter.

5. I started off the summer dating Newbie, he is an amazing man, someone whom I truly love and had great expectations for – however, unfortunately, timing didn’t work out and we are no longer together, so that dampened the end of my summer and I miss him every day, but I know we will both be better off apart right now. 

6. My wound from my surgery healed!  Hallelujah!  I am having some troubles with the area around my wound, but at least the wound itself is healed!  It feels like a miracle, but Kansas City told me to expect a miracle in my life. 

7. I had some great NK nights, relaxing, chilling, watching Dexter, playing with GB.  In fact my friends proved once again how amazing they are by rallying around me and keeping me busy.

8. Sushi BF and D have truly become people I love dearly, and I support their relationship and my friendship with them both 100%.

9. The weather has been insane – in a good way for the most part!  I love heat, the hotter the better – I hope it lasts well into September and even October. 

10. I got back to blogging – which really, is the reason you are all reading this.  I have read some great blogs from fellow bloggers and I am looking forward to a whole new season of blogging.  I will be MIA for a few days, but I’ll be back next week!

Have a great long weekend for my followers who have one, and those of you who don’t, well enjoy your weekends anyway!

XOXO Nikilee

What I have learned in 200 posts

200 – that’s how many blogs I have written.  This is 201.  So here are five things I have learned in the almost 2 years I have been a bona fide blogger with wordpress:

1. You will not be popular right away – or ever necessarily.

Granted when I first started blogging I had a few hopes that my blogs would be so witty and awesome that I would immediately have 100+ readers.  Well I have not even gotten close.  LOL…I have on average about 30-40 readers (or visitors) on days when I blog.  I think this is mainly due to me reading people’s blogs and me commenting on other blogs.  You know – you follow them, they follow you kinda thing!  I have some great blogs that I follow and I know at least one or two of them follow me back, it’s cool.  Never expected that kinda of relationship building on WordPress, but it’s true!  So even though I don’t have my 100+ readers, I love my 30+ readers and maybe by the time I hit my 400 post I will be able to double my readership

2. Some people love it, some people don’t:

I have talked quite openly about the people who read my blog who don’t like me and I have no idea why they continue to read – hoping for a train wreck I assume, but for the most part, they don’t comment and they don’t trash me on my blog, so I will leave them be.  Now that me and Newbie are no longer together 😦  at least one of them should stop reading thank God!

However, people in my life know that if they spend time with me, they risk being talked about.  A lot of people are cool with this, as long I don’t mention names, put up private pics etc, but some people prefer I don’t talk about them directly.  I understand this because some people have private lives they don’t wish to be shared with the world – remember all the countries I listed where I have been viewed from – ya the WORLD!  However, I do make mention of things that happen to me, I am an open book, I just try to keep the gossip level to a minimum.

3. I won’t be that interesting everyday:

I originally wanted to blog every weekday and have fun, charming things to say.  Well I am not a Kardashian so my life is NOT that exciting.  I have had to pick and choose days to talk on my blog because some days – some weeks – I have nothing cleaver to say and I don’t feel like wasting my reader’s time by writing random stuff that has no meaning to me or them. 

I have accepted this – hence why I am only at 200 blogs.

4. I feel a little A.D.H.D when it comes to my “theme”

As in the background of my blog.  I changed it every couple of months and I can’t stick to one.  One day, someone will come out with a theme I enjoy and I will keep it – I hope, but for now…it’s change change change!  I have read a few ways to create my own theme, but somehow I am struggling, I don’t know if it’s my computer or what, but I dislike my themes and I need a new one – stay tuned!

5. I really enjoy blogging

I know this seems like a “duh” moment, I mean why create a blog if you don’t like blogging, but in all honesty I wasn’t sure if I would.  I was going through a lot in my life when I started the blog, and it was more therapy for me than anything else, but it has turned into something more…something much more!  It is now more of a living manuscript of my life for my friends, family and any future children I may have.  I love it!  I appreciate it!  I respect it! 

So thank you to my readers for sticking by me through 200 blogs…I hope to still be a part of your life 200 more blogs from now. 

Have a great Monday!

XOXO Nikilee

Where does my readership come from??

So I hate looking at stats on my blog – I mean seriously, some days I have 50+ readers, some days I have 1.  REALLY??What were the other 49 readers doing that day – sleeping??  Now I know I don’t blog everyday and I have never been freshly pressed so keeping a strong readership is difficult, but I am so honoured when I see a lot of people read my blog.  I begin to wonder though…was it interesting?  Do people really care about my life??  Are they waiting for a train wreck?? 

Then I wonder…are these people all from Toronto??  Of course I know they all aren’t, so today I decided to find out where my readers are from…and I was in for quite a shock!  I decided to look over the last 30 days.  And the number of countries listed both amazed and scared me!  I mean, there are people reading my words from the complete opposite side of the world!!  CRAZY!  Here is a list of the countries where my blog has been viewed:

Canada – duh…most of my viewers are since they are friends/family

USA – again, I assumed this since I know some of the people who blog on WordPress and who follow my blog are American

But this is where it got interesting…

Australia, New Zealand, Ireland (what up to Green Beer!), India, Singapore, United Kingdom (great Olympics, thanks!), South Africa (seriously!!!), Netherlands, Bosnia, Slovakia (again, seriously!!!), Pakistan, Japan, Ghana, Philipines (What up Filipinos boys family!), Croatia, Romania (what up Crazy Cat Lady’s bf), Iraq (uhhhh….okay), Hong Kong, Poland, Argentina, Bangladesh and finally SRI LANKA!

   Our Beautiful World, I am inspired!!

This list is amazing.  And yes I know they can open my site and then close it and never read a word and it still counts as a stat, but seriously, I am amazed at the countries represented!!  I feel like I am having my little own blog Olympics…with the winners being – CANADA!  You scored a Gold with 261 Views!!!  WOOOHOOOO


Thank you though – to everyone near and far…I appreciate you taking any time at all reading my words…It means a lot to me and I am truly blessed for every one of you! 

SO if you are reading this…where are you from??? 

XOXO Nikilee

So I received a few comments…

…by blog, Facebook, text and phone calls and I am keeping my blog the way it is.  I love me and I love the majority of you who actually take the time to read it so why would I change it and risk losing you for a few people who in the grand scheme of things have NO control or say over my life!  So feel free to hate, love or loathe me!  But you are getting me – all of me!  Take it or leave it!


And I really do take a pill for that – a chill pill or crazy pill as I like to call it…so here I go!

This weekend I have new furniture being delivered courtesy of the Brick (and my super generous father).  My gf NYC girl is moving into her own apt and had no furniture – well I was planning on buying new furniture anyway for when I move into the bsmt so I decided to give her all of my bedroom furniture.  I paid for the bed, dresser, end tables, mirror, lounge, mattress and box spring – and then the Brick called the other day to say it wouldn’t be delivered because they had no stock left.  HAHAHAHA is it April Fools Day and no one told me?? 

Needless to say I tore the ear off the poor CSR on the phone because I PAID for this furniture, was assured it was in stock and would be delivered June 2nd.  I kindly advised her if it wasn’t delivered on JUNE 2ND then I would go to the Brick, sleep there until it was.  We argued back and forth and finally she assured me at least the bed and mattress/box spring would be delivered.  SIGH.  Now of course when I call them today to confirm – I expect them to say “nope not in stock” and I will have to rip into another poor underpaid CSR, but seriously…if you pay for something shouldn’t they hold it for you and not sell it to the next person who walks in??  I hate the Brick – this has been the worst experience ever for me (I’ve always had amazing service from them before and from everywhere else I have ever bought something).

However the whole point of this story – was that I had a dream last night.  My two nieces and I went to the Brick for our sleepover and Newbie and his sister-in-law was there.  The five of us spent the night like Goldilocks, trying out different mattresses, couches, pillows and tv’s.  It was a blast.  I was having so much fun with the four of them I was sad when my alarm woke me up.  I was jumping on a mattress that was “to hard” and throwing pillows at Newbie who was playing Marco Polo with R, my oldest niece.  Yes I think a sleepover at the Brick is just what the Dr. ordered!!  Here I come!!

XOXO Nikilee

P.S Do you think the pizza delivery company will deliver there for us???

Where have you been!!!???

Oh right it was me who disappeared.  Sorry – had surgery.  Got an infection.  Was in a lot of pain for a little over a week.  Had three weeks off work.  Didn’t do much of anything except eat the mounds of junk food my friends bought, made and brought me over the said three weeks!

But I am back!  Yay me! 

I have been thinking a lot over the past few weeks about what this blog was meant for and what it is going to end up turning into.  When I started it, I needed to vent.  GBF and I were in a bad place – a place I never in a million years expected us to be and I needed a place where I could write and express feelings and get out ideas because I lost my bff who I would normally tell everything to.  I have ALWAYS been an open book so I never minded telling the world (or my handful of readers) all about my life.  I am not a private person.  I didn’t care at the time who read what, where or when. 

However a lot has changed in a year and a half.   I know of at least three people who don’t like me, hate me even who stalk the blog.  Who read it and report on it with a vengeance.  It doesn’t really bother me that these people read it – that they find my life so interesting that they had to find it (okay one person I gave the link to because we USED to be friends or so I though), but the problem is, my writing, my openness has changed.  I no longer want to discuss details of my life because I know without a doubt I am being judged and criticized and while OF COURSE I am, after all I have an open blog – knowing people are judging and criticizing me outright is a lot different then strangers doing it behind my back.

So whats a blogger to do – ignore the naysayers??  Keep my diary-like blog going and to hell with any consequences??  Or do I change my blog??  Do I write only about books, movies, places, people, news that I have an opinion on?  I don’t know.  I guess only time will tell.  I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I don’t wanna hurt me either! 

I have a few blogs that I love reading, I do so on a fairly regular basis.  They are diary-like blogs and I love them for their openness and honesty.  I am not interested in much of the “other kinds of blogs”.  You’d think that would be my answer then – stick to me, “do me” as a friend once told me.  But if I do, there will be consequences – and I don’t know if I am quite ready for said consequences. 

For now, I’ll take it day by day.  See if anything interesting pops up…

I hope you all missed me, because those of you whom I love and those of you who have been nothing but supportive and read my blog – I have sure missed you!

XOXO Nikilee