And…I’m done

So I am well aware that I have said this on my blog and to numerous friends numerous times, but as far as me and online dating goes – I’m over it. I’m done. Just for kicks, I joined 4 dating sites – 2 paid and 2 unpaid and while I was actually more impressed with the looks of the men from the free sites, neither had what I was looking for. However on both the paid and unpaid sites I found men who declared they wanted their last first date and wanted nothing more than a loving relationship, based on love and honesty – yet when I went on dates with these men, it was pretty clear that was not what they were looking for.

It's not me, it's you.

So I’m done. I know, I know there are men on these sites who ARE looking for that, and you have to dig through the weeds to find the flowers, but seriously I don’t have the time or the energy to do that. Relationships are work – a lot of work, I am MORE than willing to work and fight for my relationship, but dating – dating should be easy, at least in my mind. Dating should be fun and breezy and romantic and if it’s not, then right now, I don’t want to date.

Funny Breakup Ecard: I feel like we've grown apart over the last few hours.

After my second “second” date with a guy last week with no follow-up phone call I decided I had enough. I deleted every profile I have up and have made the conscious decision that if I am going to meet someone – my “one” – then it will have to be natural, a set-up from a friend, a chance meeting in the coffee line or some other way, other than chit-chat and meeting online.

This has been great, but I think I'll go back to doing whatever I want all the time.

If I am going to give up time with my family or my girlfriends it has to be worth it. R met my friend on match and as much as I am opposed to them dating for reasons obvious to those close to me, I am happy that they have found someone to enjoy their time with and I truly do hope they can make it work. Dating is supposed to make you happy. I’m not happy. I hope R and C are and I hope my other friends who have been fortunate to find love online remain happy. I just know for me, right now, that I am not going to find my love online so I hope everyone respects my decision to give up. Please don’t misunderstand – I have given up on online dating, I will never give up on love, because I love the idea of growing old with someone, of marriage, of family.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry you didn't meet my ridiculously low standards.

For now, I am going to be content enjoying every moment I have with my friends. My fried Ro is having a baby any minute now – no seriously, she could be in labour as we speak! I will have a new “niece” to snuggle up to and breathe in so I have things to keep me busy, things that fulfill me, things that bring me joy. All I need in life right now is a little joy!

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

XOXO Nikilee

Funny Breakup Ecard: I know we haven't met but I think we should stop seeing each other.


Dating online adventures continue

So after closing my page with (I mean really after seeing my scammer BACK on Match with another name but EXACT same profile), I decided it was time for me to move on.  I’m still connected until the end of February when my contract with them ends, but I have zero faith that I will contact anyone from that site ever again and when I see Match commercials on tv I want to throw my remote at it (but I don’t because I am trying really hard to stop throwing things, I mean I am not a two-year old I really should stop acting like it).

My friend NYU girl has met a tonne of guys from Go Cupid which is a free site, so yesterday while twiddling my thumbs bored out of my mind, I signed up and filled out parts of the questionnaire.  I still have a few sections to fill out (that damn self-summary will be the death of me) but I added a couple of pics and answered what seemed like a million personality questions.  I downloaded the free app to my phone and thought “here I go again”.

I haven’t really played around on that site yet, haven’t taken any real look at the guys profiles, but I am trying REALLY hard to keep an open mind.  At the same time, I feel like at this point I am going to be picky. I mean if I can be thirty-two and single I think I should have high expectations and be a bit picky.  I know I am not the hottest thing since burnt toast, but I am a catch.  I have a lot going for me and someone special is going to be pretty lucky to snatch me off my feet!

This morning I had an email from go cupid explaining someone emailed me.  I saw the guys pic and wasn’t immediately impressed.  I read his profile and it was filled with his bragging about how amazing he is at oral sex!  I mean that’s great and all, but really – in your self summary you feel a need to talk about that – we are not a match my friend.  I find guys who brag about their expertise” are usually the ones who are horrible and have none.  Then this guy talks about his physical disability.  I look back at the pictures – and he is in a wheelchair!  I had to take a step back for  a minute.  I had to think would I date someone in a wheelchair?  I didn’t know the answer right away.  I want to think I would, that I wouldn’t discriminate based on ability, but after having spent almost ten years taking care of my dad, I honestly don’t want to take care of someone else, no matter how abled they are – they would still require some assistance.

I won’t be responding to this man, thankfully it isn’t because of his abilities or lack there of – he just writes in a way that doesn’t interest me at all, that was actually a huge turn off.  Tonight since I have some time I will review some of the matches on go cupid as well as Eharmony which I still have a profile for and see if anyone catches my eye.

Time will tell…