And…I’m done

So I am well aware that I have said this on my blog and to numerous friends numerous times, but as far as me and online dating goes – I’m over it. I’m done. Just for kicks, I joined 4 dating sites – 2 paid and 2 unpaid and while I was actually more impressed with the looks of the men from the free sites, neither had what I was looking for. However on both the paid and unpaid sites I found men who declared they wanted their last first date and wanted nothing more than a loving relationship, based on love and honesty – yet when I went on dates with these men, it was pretty clear that was not what they were looking for.

It's not me, it's you.

So I’m done. I know, I know there are men on these sites who ARE looking for that, and you have to dig through the weeds to find the flowers, but seriously I don’t have the time or the energy to do that. Relationships are work – a lot of work, I am MORE than willing to work and fight for my relationship, but dating – dating should be easy, at least in my mind. Dating should be fun and breezy and romantic and if it’s not, then right now, I don’t want to date.

Funny Breakup Ecard: I feel like we've grown apart over the last few hours.

After my second “second” date with a guy last week with no follow-up phone call I decided I had enough. I deleted every profile I have up and have made the conscious decision that if I am going to meet someone – my “one” – then it will have to be natural, a set-up from a friend, a chance meeting in the coffee line or some other way, other than chit-chat and meeting online.

This has been great, but I think I'll go back to doing whatever I want all the time.

If I am going to give up time with my family or my girlfriends it has to be worth it. R met my friend on match and as much as I am opposed to them dating for reasons obvious to those close to me, I am happy that they have found someone to enjoy their time with and I truly do hope they can make it work. Dating is supposed to make you happy. I’m not happy. I hope R and C are and I hope my other friends who have been fortunate to find love online remain happy. I just know for me, right now, that I am not going to find my love online so I hope everyone respects my decision to give up. Please don’t misunderstand – I have given up on online dating, I will never give up on love, because I love the idea of growing old with someone, of marriage, of family.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry you didn't meet my ridiculously low standards.

For now, I am going to be content enjoying every moment I have with my friends. My fried Ro is having a baby any minute now – no seriously, she could be in labour as we speak! I will have a new “niece” to snuggle up to and breathe in so I have things to keep me busy, things that fulfill me, things that bring me joy. All I need in life right now is a little joy!

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

XOXO Nikilee

Funny Breakup Ecard: I know we haven't met but I think we should stop seeing each other.

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Dating online adventures continue

So after closing my page with Match.com (I mean really after seeing my scammer BACK on Match with another name but EXACT same profile), I decided it was time for me to move on.  I’m still connected until the end of February when my contract with them ends, but I have zero faith that I will contact anyone from that site ever again and when I see Match commercials on tv I want to throw my remote at it (but I don’t because I am trying really hard to stop throwing things, I mean I am not a two-year old I really should stop acting like it).

My friend NYU girl has met a tonne of guys from Go Cupid which is a free site, so yesterday while twiddling my thumbs bored out of my mind, I signed up and filled out parts of the questionnaire.  I still have a few sections to fill out (that damn self-summary will be the death of me) but I added a couple of pics and answered what seemed like a million personality questions.  I downloaded the free app to my phone and thought “here I go again”.

I haven’t really played around on that site yet, haven’t taken any real look at the guys profiles, but I am trying REALLY hard to keep an open mind.  At the same time, I feel like at this point I am going to be picky. I mean if I can be thirty-two and single I think I should have high expectations and be a bit picky.  I know I am not the hottest thing since burnt toast, but I am a catch.  I have a lot going for me and someone special is going to be pretty lucky to snatch me off my feet!

This morning I had an email from go cupid explaining someone emailed me.  I saw the guys pic and wasn’t immediately impressed.  I read his profile and it was filled with his bragging about how amazing he is at oral sex!  I mean that’s great and all, but really – in your self summary you feel a need to talk about that – we are not a match my friend.  I find guys who brag about their expertise” are usually the ones who are horrible and have none.  Then this guy talks about his physical disability.  I look back at the pictures – and he is in a wheelchair!  I had to take a step back for  a minute.  I had to think would I date someone in a wheelchair?  I didn’t know the answer right away.  I want to think I would, that I wouldn’t discriminate based on ability, but after having spent almost ten years taking care of my dad, I honestly don’t want to take care of someone else, no matter how abled they are – they would still require some assistance.

I won’t be responding to this man, thankfully it isn’t because of his abilities or lack there of – he just writes in a way that doesn’t interest me at all, that was actually a huge turn off.  Tonight since I have some time I will review some of the matches on go cupid as well as Eharmony which I still have a profile for and see if anyone catches my eye.

Time will tell…

XOXO

Nikilee