Not having white sugar or carbs is a bit like running through the rain without an umbrella. It can be refreshing and make you feel great – but in the end you are wet and cold and your make-up is running down your face.
Okay so I am over exaggerating a tad. It’s been one day, 24 hours, and I have survived. I had 2.5 cups of fruit for breakfast with a blueberry white tea for snack. I had a chicken caesar salad and water for lunch and my dinner got a tad messed up due to some plans changing so I had grilled calamari (delicious by the way) for dinner. The calamari wasn’t breaded so I did not feel bad one bit. Now because of who I was with and why I did have a cocktail, but I sipped it so slow it took almost 2 hours to complete it – so I have had a bit of a cheat, but I got approval from Agi for this one time cheat.
Today it’s back to the grind. Plus I walked so much last night my feet are sore so it all evens out no??
Ever since graduating from University, I have become an addict. I am taking the first step – admitting I have a problem.
Is it drugs? Nope
I know some of you are probably laughing and some of you are annoyed that I am taking something like sugar and classifying it as an addiction like drinking, drug use or gambling. But have you been addicted to something that is slowly killing you? That has killed people in your family? It’s called Diabetes my friend and my family is full of it. We have a pre-disposition to diabetes in my family and if I am not careful, sooner or later it will catch up with me and bite me where it hurts the most.
I have known that I am powerless to sugar for quite a while. I don’t eat a lot – I skip meals regularly, but if you take away my sugar (my tea in the morning has three sugars in it) I am a hot mess.
I don’t crave salty treats; I desire chocolate, candy and sugary juice or pops. The funny thing is I don’t like artificial sweetener. I have tried. Trust me. I am WELL aware of how much weight I could lose if I just skipped the sugar I consume on a daily basis. However when I try, when I don’t have my tea in the morning (first thing and at break) I get a headache and I always cave in. I cave in to an addiction that in as little as a decade could destroy my internal organs, causing me to go blind, lose feeling in my feet and be on insulin the rest of my short life. Don’t tell me that won’t happen – it has happened to my father. I don’t want his future.
I don’t want this life, I don’t want it for me and I don’t want it for my future husband or children I may have. I know – I know – this is important. I know that I have been fooling myself into believing I don’t have a problem. However, I have been lazy. I am lazy. One of my dearest friends has been concerned for me for a while now and has offered to help me detox next week. Basically she is going to bring my breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner for five days. She is an incredibly healthy person and if I followed what she eats and how much she eats regularly I would be a much healthier person. I know this. So even though five days to you may seem like nothing – like a minute in a lifetime – it is a huge step. It’s going to be hard. Next week I am going to post everyday what I am eating, how I am feeling and any emotions I am going through. Those of you who may say “just stop eating sugar”, has no idea how it feels – or maybe your self-control is stronger than mine, I am okay with that. Please don’t judge me, because I am not judging you.