Does VERBAL communication exist anymore?

When I was in the 7th grade, I had the most amazing group of friends, both boys and girls and the whole group of us spent as much time together as possible.  This was way before the days of cell phones so when we were not together we depended on the use of our home phones to stay in touch and communicate. 

Back in those days (early 90’s) we had call waiting and three-way calling so that we were able to talk as a big group fairly often.  I can remember my mom and dad getting so mad at me for being on both lines all night that no one else could get through.  Often when I was just talking to one person and the phone would beep through with another caller and it was for someone else in my small, yet annoyingly popular family, I would become anxious wondering what gossip I was missing out on.  Please remember I was 13 and popular by association, not because I was cool or fancy. 

I would literally talk on the phone from the moment I came home from school until forced into slumber for the evening when I was allowed to.  It never ever occurred to me that talking on the phone would become so passe.  For the past ten years or so, I don’t think I have had one phone conversation that lasted more than an hour at most.  I spend almost no time talking on the phone with friends because we all have cell phones and texting is so much more convenient.  I can text twenty people at once while watching tv, doing laundry and playing a video game.  I would have no chance of doing all that if we were actually speaking to each other.  However, I miss those days of talking to a friend for hours on end, sad to hang up because the conversation was so stimulating.  I have had almost ZERO stimulating conversations through text messaging, with the LOL’s, OMG’s and FML’s going on, how could I? 

I was watching Glee last night and when the main character fainted on stage I actually said OMG.  Not “oh my God”, but O. M. G!  Who does that!??  Acronyms have become a part of our every day life and I almost feel like I am losing intelligence by all the text messaging I do in a day.  One day I am going to try very hard NOT to use text messaging to communicate with people – if I have something to say, I will call them and say hello. 

I hope I haven’t forgotten how to have a conversation over the phone.  What do I say when silence fills the air??  What happened when I was 13 and silence filled the air?  I don’t remember that ever happening!  Is verbal communication a lost art?  I hope not.  I hope my future children learn how to have conversations with their voices and not with their thumbs. I hope to God that they stay up late chatting with friends and I have to threaten gently coax them to hang up and continue the conversation another day. 

If verbal communication is an important part of our past, how do we ensure it stays with us for the future?  If you get a phone call from me, you will soon find out!

XOXO Nikilee

Remember when telephones were to talk to someone

Sometime while I was living in Peterborough completing my B.A a strange thing happened.  Cell phones were used for texting – not talking.  It was like I had left the planet and not the city because upon my return everyone had a cell phone and no one used it to talk. 

This was in 2004.  Not that long ago in retrospect, however in the 8 years since, even I have succumbed to the use of the phone for something other than talking.  Now my friends know I am not a texter,  I will text because I know they HATE talking on the phone, but I prefer to talk, to hear someones voice, to be able to tell when they are joking, happy, sad, angry and other emotions better heard then described by an emoticon 😉

Filipino boy bought me first cell phone, a Fido pay as you go – back in 99 – and I thought I was so cool to be able to talk to people during the day, while at school, out at the park etc.  I don’t even think it had text messaging or if it did, I certainly didn’t know how to use it.  When I left for Peterborough I cancelled the phone and used the home phone service.  When I returned from Trent, I felt no need to have a cell, my dad had a home phone, so I didn’t use one for a long time.  Then GBF convinced me to get a phone.  I bought the hot pink Razr which was the flip phone and the coolest phone out for the longest time.  It had predictive text and I sucked at messaging so rarely did I do it.  After that phone bit the dust I upgraded to a black berry.  I had finally evolved into a full-blown texter.  I mean it had a full key board!  I could easily text.  However, once I started texting regularly I started to notice my nights were full of little side convo’s that had no meaning behind them.  My relationships seemed to have very little meaning over text because really telling someone who hurts you or someone who loves you how you feel just doesn’t have the same meaning.  I have now upgraded to an iPhone 4s and while I do love it – see that Newbie I DO love it – I am starting to hate text messaging even more because it’s touch screen and a bit more difficult. 

Everyone from Newbie to Crazy Cat Lady prefers text to talk and I think my only real friends that will call me instead of texting is NYU girl and GBF because they too prefer talking to text and at least as far as GBF is concerned, he knows I hate texting. 

I remember in 7th and 8th grade lying in bed late at night trying to be super quiet so my parents wouldn’t hear me talking on the phone past curfew, talking for hours to one girl friend or one guy friend and then when three-way calling came into play I knew my world had changed for the better.  I am a talker – duh – I love talking, I love hearing what people are thinking and asking questions without having to wait 1, 2, 10 minutes for a response.  All through high school I would spend the majority of my nights on the phone – no wonder my grades weren’t the best!

I understand why my friends like texting, we are all so busy with a million things to do every day that texting provides an ease of communicating with those we love without having to set aside time or something else in order to do so.

I have a feeling that with more young kids having cell phones that texting is not going ANYWHERE anytime soon.  I might as well get used to it.  People always seemed surprised when I call.  Thank God my mom still talks on the phone and not over text.  She doesn’t know how to text!  I am SOOOOOO not teaching her!

XOXO Nikilee

A day is just a day…really it is.

So yesterday (Valentines Day) was a normal, yet happy day for me.  Work was good, no major troubles, lots of texting, which I know is so wrong, but I CAN NOT HELP IT.  I just can’t stop yet so I hope none of my co-workers hate me for it!?

After work I had therapy, which was intense and made me do a lot of thinking.  I need to start taking control of my life and my future, but really, I am in limbo right now and I plan on going nowhere soon so I will just have to deal with my rollercoaster of emotions until a move is made!  My Valentines date was with one of my absolute favourite people in the world – crazy cat lady!  LOL…she will kill me is she reads this and finds out I call her that…shhh don’t tell.  I spent part of my evening with her and her dad just relaxing, teasing each other (if we were American he would be VERY republican and I would be VERY democratic so I try not to debate him…it could get ugly).  Watching crazy cat lady with her dad reminds me of the relationship I have with my dad.  He raised her, mine raised me.  Though in reality – we took/take care of them! 

After leaving her house, I headed to the finale of my Valentines date night with my dad.  We watched part of Biggest Loser, but I knew I had one more thing I had to do.  I called my mom.  My mom is going through a really rough time right now.  Her boyfriend has throat cancer and so far – it does not look good.  I am debating about going up to Bobcaygeon to help out for a couple of days.  Even just to be there to keep them company.  Now my relationship with both of them has been strained, never a solid, great relationship by any means, but I do love my mother and I don’t like people I care about hurting.  I also tend to not be the most compassionate person with her, as I am more concerned that when he does pass away that she is taken care of…that things are in order.  She assures me they are.  I hope so.  We had a really nice talk though.  Probably the longest one we have had in months, if not years. 

After showering and talking to GBF (totally teased him for not buying me flowers this year – I mean last year he did…remember my blog on it!!  We were in a crap place last year, I hated so much of him and he bought me flowers!  This year we are friends, we are in a much better place, and I get nothing!  LOL…next year if I am single I will pick a fight with him to ensure I get something!)  I passed out cold…only to be woken up by a crazy nightmare where I was in some foreign country and working in a brothel – not as the woman who sleeps with people, but as security (ya who the hell am I supposed to secure???)…and people were getting killed and raped and I have no idea what brought on such foolishness, but it kept me awake wishing I could call…nah I won’t say…but I did wanna call someone and calm myself down.  Why do my dreams have to be so freaking real???  Ridiculous! 

All in all, today should hopefully be a wonderful day.  See if my plans stick, see if work goes well – see what client’s bring me today…have a wonderful hump day everyone

XOXO Nikilee