The best news ever!

The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
~Author Unknown

My dad finally is coming home!  On Wednesday I will be picking him up and bringing him home!  YAY!  It has been a long five weeks and I will be so grateful when it is over.  He has been at Scarborough General Hospital – which has a pretty bad rap considering whenever I tell someone where he is they cringe and apologize.  However I have nothing but the best to say about them.  They have helped keep my father alive and have given him the best care.  I can’t really find anything to complain about (except they wouldn’t let me sleep in his room when he was first brought in to critical care, but really I was not their concern he was, so fine, I understand).  I am sure my dad would have appreciated better food, but he’s a diabetic so he can’t really expect burgers and fries.  I just want to take this blog today and extend my appreciation to the entire staff, including volunteers who helped make my dads five weeks at SGH the best they could have been given the circumstances!  I will never forget any of the nursing staff that I met personally who always had a smile on their faces and who laughed at all my dads corny jokes 🙂

Now I need to prepare for the long haul.  I mean just because he comes home doesn’t mean he is well.  He is still weak and won’t be able to do everything he did previously.  I know he wants more than anything to give my oldest niece R her lunches once school starts up again, but I don’t know if that will be possible.  If there is a will there will be a way though because he is determined.  He loves their time together.  There will also be an expectation on me to ensure he is eating well – not quite as strict as in the hospital, because he wants to enjoy his life as much as possible – but still, he has to eat better and be more responsible and I WILL be watching 😉

I hope you all have as wonderful a week as I am having, I hope to be back blogging more regularly soon!

XOXO Nikilee

The one thing I have learned from living alone

I have made a pro’s and con’s list to living alone.  Since my dad was hospitalized I have had ZERO time to do anything because I am working, visiting him, I babysat my nieces for 4 days and I have had so much training from work that I am beyond exhausted.  It is really nice to come home, walk around naked (or near naked at least) while getting ready for bed and have no cares in the world if anyone sees you. 

It’s also really nice to be able to have silence – I enjoy silence.  Especially when I come home from work.  I don’t want to talk about my day like most people do.  I talk ALL day at work, when I come home, I want to flip on the tv or grab a good book and relax with no one to bother me.

HOWEVER, it’s also really quiet at home and occasionally I am bored and want someone to chat with and my dad is a great talker – he can talk about anything and everything and I miss all the mindless chit-chat we engage in. 

With my dad home, there is more incentive for me to cook meals, bring lunch to work and in general be healthy because he talks to me about this stuff and with him there I can’t get away with lying. With him at the hospital, well lets just say I am back to square one with my eating better 😦

My dad has a lot of bills that come in for him and my grandmother and being responsible for these bills can be overwhelming even if the  money is still coming out of my dads account.  My dad keeps immaculate records of his cheques and I am doing everything I can to keep his records just as reliable.  I am an organized person, but the ex always took care of our bills when we lived in the apartment so other than a regular visa bill I never wrote cheques for anything. 

I keep an okay clean house, but I do enjoy the maid coming once a month to get every nook and cranny.  Unfortunately she works days as do I so no one is home to let her in so we have had no maid service for August 😦  We also have had a lot of random flies come into the home which I have sent to buggy heaven so I would LOVE a good cleaning of the house…ick! 

So overall, I know that when my dad comes home, I will continue to live with him for as long as possible because while I LOVE living alone, I LOVE my dad more and I am grateful for the time we have together.  I have the rest of my life to live alone, pay bills, have silence and peace and tranquility…lol

XOXO Nikilee


On Tuesday July 26th, my sister-in-law called me at work and advised my father had called 9-1-1 because he couldn’t breath.  Now I knew he was having some breathing problems – not completely uncommon for him – but he is stubborn (which man isn’t really) and waited two full days before calling the hospital who advised him to call for an ambulance immediately.  I left work and drove like even more of a maniac than usual and beat the ambulance to Scarborough General Hospital.  My dad looked pale, which for my family isn’t hard since we are all kinda pasty looking anyway.  But he was awake and in fairly good spirits for someone who couldn’t breath.  After having blood work, x-rays and numerous other tests done, a very nice ER doctor (whose name I cannot remember, but my God she was wonderful) explained that sometime in the last few days my father had a massive heart attack and had congestive heart failure (he had liquid in his lungs that his heart would not pump out). 

A massive heart attack!  Excuse me, but I just took CPR and he had NO signs of having a massive heart attack!  The doctor explained that because of renal issues the attack affected him differently than most people.  This was not comforting to me at all.  How can I, as his daughter, and whom lives with him, be any help if I have no idea he is having issues!!!!!  They brought him up to the Critical Care Unit that same night and stabilized him enough so that he was comfortable. 

The next day things only got worse 😦 

His heart and breathing weren’t normal and were going very crazy on the machine.  Every time it beeped I thought I would go into near hysterics!  I cried and I whined and I am sure I drove my brother and the nurses crazy with my watchful eye on the monitors.  Again, they stabilized him, and since then he has been taken off all his machines, moved out of critical care and has regained much of his strength and appetite.  It’s been a LONG week, a week of off and on sleep which is not good for me or anyone else who was in contact with me (Richard I love you and I am so sorry for being a wretched bitch).   However I have learned one thing:

My friends, family and neighbours are amazing.  I kept regular facebook status updates so everyone knew what was happening and therefore I didn’t have to text/call numerous people.  Everyone offered to bring me food or keep me company and even though I wanted for nothing but my father to be okay, I was grateful for the kind thoughts and prayers sent my way while we were dealing with him.  I am also grateful to the staff at SGH because I know I stressed them out and no one wanted to see a hysterical, 30-year-old woman crying because she isn’t allowed to sleep next to her father!

Dad is having tests run today and hopefully they will bring good news!  I would love to have him home in the next week or so – I don’t sleep well alone.  Richard is coming over tonight though so I can finally give the poor man some attention!  Plus keep my mind off the hospital and all the craziness of the past week.  Has it really been a whole week – wow! 

Have a great hump day everyone!

XOXO Nikilee